Losing Pain
by Tinkerbell111
Summary: Harry believes everyone has stopped caring. But there happens to be one who has just begun to.
1. Chapter 1

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter One**

Harry Potter woke up by the foot of his bed with a pounding headache. He had no memory of the day before but he was positive that he had been drinking… a lot. He tried to go back to sleep but instead he was kicked in the stomach by Ron Weasley.

"Get up you ass, our first class starts in an hour and I don't want to start the new term badly. Hermione's waiting for us downstairs."

Harry groaned and didn't try to get up. Ron kicked him again even harder. He still didn't make a move to get up until Ron kept kicking him and he was too sore to refuse. Ron helped him up and had him sit on his bed while Ron got some new clothes for him.

"Put these on and don't you try sleeping again." Ron left and Harry looked the clothes. Ron had chosen some plain blue jeans and one of the many sweaters Mrs. Weasley had given him. He didn't remember why he never burnt them. He threw them on the floor and got his own clothes: black baggy jeans, a slightly baggy black t-shirt, and a black stone stud for his nose. He had gotten it pierced during the summer. He slipped a black box inside his robe pocket and made sure the robe covered every inch of skin on his upper torso.

***

"I didn't pick those clothes for you!" Ron exclaimed. The three friends were in the common room. Ron and Harry were glaring at each other. Hermione was just watching, waiting for when she had to keep them from getting physical.

"You're not my mother," Harry retorted. I'll meet up with you later." Ron was about to protest, but Hermione told him to let him go. Harry left to the Astronomy tower. It was dark and empty, just the way he liked it.

He sat down against the wall like so many times before. Taking out the black box, he opened it to reveal a silver dagger with a gold handle. He looked at his reflection, bright green eyes glowing back at him. He felt a lump forming in his throat, but he swallowed it back down. He hated how he was always so emotional.

Pulling up the sleeve of his robe he looked at all of his visible scars. Before, he would use a disappearing charm, but he had gotten tired of using it. Anyways, they were a part of him now. Finding an untouched piece of skin he slid the blade across, careful of not nicking any important veins. Blood seeped through the newly made crack; he smiled as it dripped onto the floor. Every drop was a day of his horrible past, coming out of him, leaving him forever.

Once his headache had disappeared he quickly cleaned up the crimson red puddle he had made and used a small healing charm to close the slit to nothing but another scar. He stood up and a feeling of lightness filled him.

_Had too much bled out? Should I stop?_

He shook his head. He was strong and if he could handle hangovers this would hardly be any different.

***

"Where'd you go?" Hermione asked. "There's hardly any breakfast left."

Harry sat down at the Gryffindor table. "Nowhere, why do you ask so many questions? I thought you were smart."

Hermione quickly turned the other way. "What's up with you, man? Last year you were all up to killing Voldermort. Now you don't give a shit and you're all crappy to your friends." Ron asked him.

Harry just took an orange and walked away. His friends watched as he left the Great Hall. He could feel their stares, but he ignored the feeling. They weren't the ones who helped him anymore. They were merely there.

***

Harry sat down at the desk in the far back left corner of the Transfiguration room. He took out his book and pretended to read it. Truthfully, Harry knew what it said practically from memory. He had bought all of his school books only days after last year had ended and read them all to get through the summer. During their first term of the year, he had practiced everything he could in the Room of Requirements. Countless times he would fall asleep in class because of lack of sleep from working so hard, but he always knew what was happening. Nobody questioned his odd behavior.

Dumbledore had asked him to his office plenty of times during this time, but Harry rarely went. The few times he did go, the headmaster asked him the typical questions: "How are you?" "Are classes going well?" "How are Hermione and Ron?" Harry would answer when he felt like it, Dumbledore would excuse him and offer a lemon drop, and Harry would always politely refuse.

The meetings ended a few weeks before the end of term. Harry slowly stopped going to practice because he had mastered or almost perfected everything he learned. Over break he stayed at Hogwarts, but he was never really there. Everyone who was able to go to Hogsmede could go whenever they wanted over break as long as they were back before curfew. Since no one ever checked rooms, Harry usually would go to Hogsmede, floo to Diagon Alley, and walk to Knockturn Alley. There he would buy a few things then go to a bar or two. When it became early enough for people to walk to Hogsmede the next day, he'd floo back and go to Hogwarts to sleep the whole day. Hardly anyone ever saw him.

Now it was second term and most people learned to leave him alone, with the exception of Hermione and Ron.

"Mister Potter, since you apparently know what we're doing today, since you're using this class time to read ahead, would you please show us how to do what we're learning?" McGonagall put her hand right on the pages Harry was blankly looking at.

Harry looked up, took out his wand, and pointed it at the toothpick someone had set on his desk. He flicked his wand quickly without saying a word and it immediately transformed into a small stone statue of a lion.

"Can I get back to my reading now?" Harry asked the now dumbstruck McGonagall politely. He quickly glanced at Hermione who was just as dumbfounded as the professor. She was quickly looking at her small little pebble in her hand then at his statue. Harry cursed under his breath; he was only supposed to have transfigured it into a pebble.

Before McGonagall could say anything, he gathered his things and left the room. Hurriedly, Harry walked down the halls and up stairs to reach the Gryffindor common room. The whole way he kept his head down, not wanting to look anyone in the eyes. He was only a few floors away when he hit something and crashed to the floor.

"Watch where you're going, Potter."

Harry looked up and locked eyes with none other than Draco Malfoy himself. "I'm sorry, Malfoy," he said quickly as he tried to pick up his things that fell out of his bag.

"Sorry? That's all you have to say?" Malfoy asked harshly. He placed his foot right on Harry's hand.

Harry winced as his foot kept his hand there. He tried to pull it away, but Malfoy just pressed down harder. "What do you want, Malfoy?" Harry finally asked.

Malfoy had to blink twice before he realized that Harry had just easily given in. Never had he ever given in; they had always fought.

"What's wrong with you today, Potter?" he asked as he stepped off his hand.

Harry flexed his now red fingers to get his feeling back, and then rubbed them before he stood up to face Malfoy. Tears started to form in his eyes, but he blinked them back hoping Malfoy didn't see.

"I'm fine, Malfoy. You wouldn't care anyways," Harry snapped at him.

"I care when I'm not the one causing the pain," Malfoy said, surprisingly nicely in an odd sort of way.

Harry didn't no what to say. It was the strangest thing Malfoy had ever said to him. Not knowing what to do, Harry picked up his bag and left. Malfoy just stood there, not knowing exactly what happened.

***

"Why do I have to be so fucking stupid?" Harry muttered to himself as he cut open his skin with a quick slice.

"Why do I have to have the fucked up life?" he said as he slashed himself again.

"Why can't I just be normal?" Another cut.

Harry kept talking to himself and cutting himself until he became too tired to move the blade across his scar covered skin. Slowly, he picked up his wand, closed the cuts, and cleaned up the blood before he put away his knife and stood up.

He became lightheaded as he stood and walked to the door, but ignored the feeling. As he walked down the stairs, his vision doubled and he tripped, tumbling down the long flight of stairs before coming to a stop at the bottom.

Harry tried to get up but failed miserably before he blacked out. The last thing he saw were shiny black shoes running up to him.

* * *

**A/N: There's the first chapter. I tried starting it before, but then a whole new idea came to me and I've finally decided to post it. Hope you all liked this chapter because there's more to come.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter Two**

_Where am I? _Harry thought as he slowly opened his eyes. Everything was a bit fuzzy until he blinked a few times. He found himself in the Hospital Wing, surrounded by practically everyone he knew. He wanted to curse them out, but he knew that would look a little suspicious.

"Harry! You're awake!" Hermione exclaimed and quickly hugged him tightly. Harry lay in his bed, staying frozen until she had unlatched herself from him.

"We all thought you were a goner, mate." Ron looked down at Harry. There was no glare on his face, only pure concern. Harry made sure to make up for him.

"Why am I here?" Harry flung his arms up to motion to the room, but found himself held down by restraints. "And why am I locked up?"

"Harry, we know what you've been up to lately." Hermione told him with her arms crossed. Then, she pointed to his arms. "We don't need you doing it again."

"It's not your problem." Harry growled out.

"It is too our problem!" Ron exclaimed.

"Harry, we're here to help you. We're all your friends. Why are you straying away from us?" This time it was Dumbledore who had spoken. Everyone turned to him except Harry who kept his glare on Ron.

"I don't need any of your help. You only make things worse."

"You know that's not true, Harry." Hermione said. "Every one of us has been there for you and we plan on still being there for you."

_You may 'plan' on it, but you definitely never are or will be._ Harry thought. He knew it would be worthless to say anything more. More complaining would mean more people talking. He was already sick of Hermione, Ron, and Dumbledore. He didn't need Ginny, Poppy, McGonagall, or Hagrid bugging him too.

"Could you all please leave me alone?" Harry finally asked, using the nicest voice he could manage. "I'm still feeling a bit woozy."

Everyone reluctantly left after Poppy agreed with him, saying that rest would be a good thing. For once, Harry was actually grateful for the mediwitch.

***

"Wake up, Potter."

Harry groaned and turned away from the voice. He still didn't feel like talking to anyone. But instead of leaving him alone, they decided to shove him over to where he was before.

"Potter, I know you're awake." The voice told him again. "Now open your bloody eyes."

Harry mumbled a few words of hatred before he unwillingly opened his eyes. They widened when he saw a blonde standing in front of him.

"Surprised to see me?" Malfoy asked with his usual smirk on his face.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" Harry asked. "If it's just to make fun of how messed up I am, just leave because I already know I am."

Malfoy laughed, but then shut up quickly. He was so used to being so mean, but that wasn't why he was there. Truthfully, he didn't know why he was there.

"I came to see if you were alright." Malfoy just told him the truth.

Harry raised an eyebrow. Never had Malfoy showed a sign of caring, except for the day before, but that didn't count. That moment was beyond strange.

"A Malfoy, caring for a Potter?"

Malfoy shrugged and sat down in the chair that was set next to Harry's hospital bed. "I think I've seen stranger. I see they aren't taking any chances." He nodded to the wrist restraints.

Harry pulled his arms up as far as they'd go then let them fall. "Apparently there's the possibility that I might 'hurt' myself again."

"Well would you?" Malfoy asked.

Harry smiled to him and shrugged. "Yes, but it's not like it actually hurts."

"It didn't look that way when I found you." Malfoy's eyes weren't looking at Harry's face anymore. They had switched to stare at his bare arms. There wasn't a single scar left. Poppy must have fixed them all.

"You were the one who turned me in?" Harry started to look angry once again. If there was one person who wouldn't have cared, he would have expected it to be his worst enemy, but apparently everyone cared about the boy-who-fucking-lived-and-wanted-to-die.

Malfoy shook his head quickly. "No. I heard you fall down the stairs and was the first person to find you passed out at the bottom. You're friend Neville was the one who actually went and got help."

Harry smiled and nodded in approval. At least there was one person who was on his side, even if they didn't want to be.

"So then if you didn't turn me in, why did you come to see if I was alright?"

Malfoy shrugged. He really didn't know and wondered the answer himself. Ever since Harry had looked and acted like a helpless child the night he stepped on his hand, a feeling came over him that forced him to feel for the kid that was below him.

Truthfully, Malfoy had watched Harry trip down the steps to the Astronomy Tower. He watched the blood from his cuts pool around him before he broke out of his trance and carried the teen away from the scene. He had taken Harry to the girls' bathroom with the _Out of Order_ sign on its door.

Moaning Myrtle was nowhere to be seen. Malfoy quickly stopped the bleeding and healed most of the deep cuts. As he was slowly cleaning up the blood, he heard someone start to open the door. Malfoy quickly hid in one of the bathroom stalls and spied through the crack between the door and the side of the stall. There he saw Neville with bright green hair. Malfoy wanted to laugh, but knew he couldn't be discovered. Most likely Neville was hiding from someone who was throwing hexes at him. But, a gasp from the somewhat chubby boy brought him out of his thoughts. Malfoy continued to watch the boy quickly scan over Harry and then carry him out of the bathroom.

Malfoy waited a few minutes before he left the stall and then waited a few more before he left the bathroom and walked calmly back to his common room.

"Thanks, Malfoy." Harry brought the boy out of his thoughts.

Malfoy looked at him confused. "Why are you thanking me? I didn't do anything."

"Thanks for caring."

Malfoy nodded with a calm face, but, inside, he was smiling.

* * *

**A/N: There's the second chapter. Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I really appreciate it. Hope everyone likes this chapter as well.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter Three**

"So do you think you're ready to go back to classes, Harry?" Dumbledore asked his prized student for what seemed like the hundredth time to the teen. It most likely was too.

Harry gave the headmaster his best smile and nodded. Faking became the fastest way to get him out of the place so far. He didn't need to wreak his chances by a tiny frown. Dumbledore smiled back and his eyes twinkled. Inside his mind, Harry was picturing himself ripping out the man's eyes so they would never twinkle again.

"That's good. You've missed quite a lot of classes. Anymore and you probably wouldn't have enough time to catch up."

Harry wanted to scoff. Dumbledore thought he was behind? He was almost a whole year ahead by the first day of school. Did he ever care about him? No, he was always more interested in how Harry could make him look better. It was always Dumbledore, Dumbledore, Dumbledore. Not once was it about Harry.

"Well, I hope to see you good and well Monday morning."

"As you, Professor." Harry replied with a grin that was plastered on his face until the old man had left.

The grin immediately disappeared once the door was closed.

***

Harry flexed his wrists again, still not used to the feeling of being free of his bonds, even though they had already been off for almost a week. He put his arms behind his head and just stared at the ceiling like he usually did.

"I hear that they're letting you out tomorrow." A familiar voice spoke.

Harry smiled and turned to face his new found friend. "Yeah, except I'll most likely be on constant watch until the end of the year. Then I'll be dumped off at my aunt and uncle's where no one will care what happens to me."

"It's better than being stuck in here." Malfoy looked around at the Hospital Wing. There were about twenty beds in the room, but only Harry's had been occupied the whole time he was here. He wondered if Dumbledore made sure it was that way.

Harry took his own look at his surroundings. The bed wasn't the best and he hated the hospital smell, but it was better than seeing his Gryffindor classmates. He didn't know how to answer, so he just shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess I shouldn't have even said anything." Malfoy knew what Harry was thinking. He wouldn't have wanted to go back either if he had the same life as Harry.

"How are we supposed to talk again?" Harry asked, a look of slight pain on his face.

"Maybe this is the end of it?" Malfoy didn't look like he was sure, but he didn't want to say he'd miss the talks he had every night with his supposed enemy.

"Yeah, maybe it is." Harry turned back to look at the ceiling. He didn't want Malfoy to see how emotional he could get. Only once had Malfoy seen him cry and that was the only time it was going to happen.

Malfoy looked at the hurt teen lying on the bed. Already the kid had plenty of problems to deal with. He didn't need another one. Without thinking about it, Malfoy grabbed his friend's hand and squeezed it tightly. A tingling feeling went through his hand and up his arm, but he ignored it and stared straight at Harry. "Harry, look at me."

Reluctantly, Harry did as he was told, used to being ordered around. He stared into Malfoy's grey orbs with his own green ones. The same tingling feeling went through Harry. Harry didn't ignore the feeling and stared at their hands.

"Harry, look at me." Malfoy said again. Harry looked back up. "We'll find another way to talk during the night. But you have to promise me you won't let yourself end up in here again."

"I...I can't, Malfoy." Harry's eyes filled with tears again. He hated talking about his 'problem.'

Malfoy shook his head and squeezed their hands tighter. "Just promise me you won't end up in the hospital again. I can't tell you to stop cutting completely, but I'm telling you to never get put back here." Malfoy kept his eyes on Harry, never letting them waver.

Harry bit his lip, but nodded. He would try anything for his only friend, even if the task seemed almost impossible.

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry this chapter is so short! But I promise I'll make up for it with lots and lots of chapters! Hopefully you liked it anyways.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter Four**

"Are you coming, Harry?" Hermione opened the door to the room Harry shared with his old friends.

Harry was sitting on his bed reading a note. He wanted to smile, but he knew he couldn't in front of Hermione. He couldn't make her think that she could get close to him finally. He put so much effort into making them stray away. Before he put it away so Hermione couldn't read it, he looked it over again.

_Potter_

_I'm free for the rest of the day after our 3-o-clock potions class together. I'll be in the Room of Requirement until curfew._

_Draco_

Harry was also free afterwards. Dumbledore told him that having classes till five was way too much for him to handle. Harry didn't mind. Classes were boring and worthless to him. The only one that was interesting was potions because he hadn't gone as far ahead as he had with all of the rest of his classes. Being taught by Snape somehow seemed better than teaching himself.

"Harry?" Hermione asked again.

Harry looked up with a blank face. Hermione had an unsure look on her face like she didn't know what she should say or do. Harry stood and pocketed the note.

"Are we going to class now?" Harry asked. He tried his best for it to be polite and somewhat normal, but the task was too difficult for him to say it perfectly.

Hermione quickly nodded and left the room with Harry following.

***

We'll see you at dinner then, mate?" Ron asked as he, Harry, and Hermione left their Charms class. Both Ron and Hermione had a break while Harry had Potions.

Harry shook his head. "I think I'm going to study a bit in the library tonight if that's alright with you guys."

Hermione gave Ron an unsure look. She had a lot of them lately. Ron just shrugged his shoulders again. He seemed to be getting a little annoyed at how Harry was always treated now. Harry didn't mind, he didn't need another person on his case.

"Okay, Harry, but you'll be back by curfew right?"

Harry nodded and the group went their separate ways.

Harry walked down to the potions room. Everyone else was already there except for Snape. Snape always had to come in last with a scowl on his face and an angry aura surrounding him. Harry always wondered if the professor had a spell on him that made him always seem mad, or at least one that amplified his emotions.

"Turn to page two hundred and seventy-two and start the potion listed there." Snape told them then left the room to his adjoining office.

"Were working together, Potter." A voice whispered from behind, his breath tickling Harry's ear.

Harry shivered before he turned around to face Malfoy. He nodded and Malfoy left to get their ingredients. The rest of the students watched as Malfoy joined Harry, but it didn't faze them anymore. The day Harry returned to classes Malfoy worked with Harry, no matter if they needed partners or not. Snape noticed this but did nothing either. The rest of the students knew if they said anything to anyone else, Malfoy would be sure to make the rest of their school year miserable. He was already having plenty of fun messing with the life of one Ernie Macmillan.

The two worked in silence like they always did. They finished the potion right on time and bottled two vials before they walked into Snape's office together.

"You've finished?" The professor asked.

"Yes, sir." Malfoy answered as he handed him their vials.

Snape looked at the dark blue almost black liquid they held before he set them down. Then he looked up at the two in front of him and spoke. "You both may leave early today."

Harry and Malfoy nodded before they left the office, cleaned up their work area, then left the classroom as well. The two walked down the hall together until they came to the stairs to go back upstairs. Malfoy went up first. Harry waited ten minutes before he also headed up.

No one was in sight. Harry walked through the school, passing the library, and went straight to where the Room of Requirement was located. Before he could think about the room he wanted, the door formed and opened. Harry raised an eyebrow but entered the room, closing the door behind him.

"I thought I'd be nice and not make you waste energy forming the door." Malfoy simply said before he sat on a couch that he had thought up.

Harry sat down next to him. "That was thoughtful of you." He said with a sarcastic tone.

Malfoy pushed him off the couch and to the floor. Then he laughed. "I knew you were clumsy but I didn't know you were clumsy enough to not be able to sit."

Harry flipped himself over so he could look up at Malfoy and glare. Then, in a quick motion that Malfoy wasn't expecting, Harry pulled Malfoy down with him. Somehow though, the teen landing right on top of him, their faces only inches apart.

"Thanks, Potter." Malfoy grumbled as he held himself up to keep himself from crushing the boy below him.

"You're very welcome, Malfoy." Harry grinned like a little kid before he was able to maneuver his arms so they were crossed behind his head. His robe's arms had slid down them, exposing every bare inch of his forearms. Malfoy slowly pulled one from under Harry's head while still keeping himself up.

"I see you still haven't stopped." He said it like it was part of a casual conversation. Harry liked that he didn't obsess over the fact.

Harry shook his head as his answer.

Malfoy moved so he was sitting next to the still laying down Harry. He kept Harry's arm in his hand and slowly traced the small amount of cuts that were visible. Harry's eyes slowly slid closed and a small smile formed on his lips. Malfoy shook his head. Every time he traced the scars, Harry smiled like they were a good thing. He wondered what was exactly going on in the teen's mind.

"Malfoy, what time is it?" Harry asked after a few minutes of more comfortable silence.

Malfoy looked up at the grandfather clock that was in the corner of the room. "It's six. Everyone should be eating now. Are you hungry?"

Harry laughed like Malfoy had said something funny. "You know I'm never all that hungry."

Malfoy stopped tracing and slowly pulled back the sleeve. He didn't say anything to Harry. Cutting was one thing, but he was starting to notice how the boy kept eating less and less. This was starting to worry him.

"Why is it whenever I'm with you, you never seem to want to eat, Potter?" Malfoy looked at Harry's face.

Harry didn't answer. He kept still with his eyes closed.

"Harry, look at me." Malfoy ordered him. Harry didn't listen. "Harry, look at me!"

Harry stayed still and didn't open his eyes.

"Harry! Look at me!" Malfoy ordered angrily. He slapped the boy's face. Harry didn't move.

"Harry!" Malfoy exclaimed then went down to a whisper. "Look at me, please."

Harry didn't do anything. If it wasn't for the rise and fall of his chest, Malfoy could have sworn the teen looked like he was dead. Malfoy positioned himself back on top of Harry. Harry still didn't move a muscle. He lowered his head to Harry's left ear and whispered. "Harry, please look at me, please." It was almost a beg. Harry didn't flinch.

Malfoy didn't know what to do to make the boy responsive. Yelling at him wasn't helpful and pain would only make the boy smile at most. Suddenly, the answer came to his head.

Malfoy smirked and lowered his head back down to Harry's. He whispered once more. "Harry, look at me." Again, he received no reply.

Malfoy kept going down until his lips firmly pressed against Harry's. He stayed there, waiting for Harry to do something, but the boy stayed the same.

Anger took over Malfoy and he quickly parted and stood up, walking away from the unresponsive boy. Part of him just wanted to leave, but another stronger part of him made him stay in the room. He asked for a chair in his mind and the room formed a simple wooden chair. He sat down exasperated.

"Why do you have to be so difficult, Potter? All I want is for you to look at me...That's all I want." Malfoy's anger was turning into a feeling almost close to despair.

"Is it, Malfoy? Is it all you want?" A voice breathed in Malfoy's ear. Malfoy, shocked, stood up and spun around to face an open-eyed Harry.

"What are you talking about, Potter?" Anger quickly coming back.

Harry smirked and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I'm pretty sure that kiss wasn't just a way to try to get me to look at you."

Malfoy glared and grabbed Harry by the shoulders. "What did you think that kiss was for then?"

Harry was somehow able to squeeze his way out of Malfoy's grasp and place his hands on Malfoy's face. He pressed his lips against Malfoy's with more force than Malfoy had to him. Malfoy gasped in surprise, but quickly got over it and return the force. When they parted both were breathing a little heavily.

"What was that, Potter?" Malfoy was able to growl out.

Harry shrugged his shoulders. Malfoy slapped his face.

This time Harry glared. "What was that for?"

"You and your bloody shrugging at everything I ask you." Malfoy answered. "I'm leaving now."

Harry wanted to stop the teen, but he couldn't speak. He could only watch Malfoy leave in a quick manner. Once the door slammed, tears rushed down Harry's cheeks. Harry immediately collapsed to the floor.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry I updated this chapter a little later than the rest. I was hosting a party on Thursday and Friday I was cleaning up, no fun. Who knew that only twenty people could make such a huge mess. But hopefully you still enjoyed this chapter! Thanks to all of you who are reading it!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter Five**

"Where do you think Harry is?" Hermione asked Ron. The two were sitting in the Gryffindor common room, finishing their homework while waiting for Harry. It was already ten minutes past curfew.

"He'll be here Hermione, don't worry. I'm sure Harry has a perfect reason for being a little late." Ron assured her. But, in his head, Ron was also beginning to worry that the boy might have gotten himself into some sort of trouble.

The two kept working on their homework until it was finished. It slowly became an hour past curfew. Students were starting to go to bed. Ron and Hermione stayed up, watching the fire in the fireplace slowly die.

***

Malfoy felt horrible for leaving him. Harry was already messed up enough with everything going on. He didn't need this too. But, Malfoy couldn't stay. That kiss was just too much. He didn't know why, but it wasn't the right timing. Harry was under too much stress. Having Malfoy around would have been an ever greater addition to it.

He sighed and left the common room. All of the sudden he had become very hungry. He hadn't eaten since lunch and now it was almost one. Usually he could be able to handle skipping a meal or two, but all of his thinking brought on a great hunger.

How he hated that bloody Potter with a passion.

***

"He's been gone for way to long, Ron." Hermione told the red head. He seemed to be bored out of his mind sitting there, now looking at a burnt out fire.

"We can't do anything, Hermione. All of the people assigned for watching the halls is already gone." Ron said. "The last time we went out after hours, we got caught and I was given plenty of dentention for the rest of the year. I'm not going through that again. Plus, I'm dead tired."

Hermione rolled her eyes. Ron never seemed to care about their friend anymore. Ever since Harry had been drifting away from them, he was getting more annoyed with the boy. Then, when they found out he had been cutting himself, Ron became ever more impatient with him. She figured it had to do with the idea that cutting was a 'girl thing' making Harry more a girl than a guy. Ron would never change.

"Fine, then you go to bed and _I'll_ go look for him." Hermione told him, standing up with her hands on her hips. She expected him to give in.

"Sounds good." Ron stood up to, but then headed up to his room.

Hermione watched him jog up the stairs with a shocked look. This was the first time he hadn't come to help. Usually he'd at least come along very reluctantly. He knew they both needed him, even if he got on their nerves. Never before had he said no until now.

Just a little angry with the Weasley, Hermione placed a silent charm and a delusion charm on her, making her less noticable, before she walked out of the common room.

***

Malfoy was making his way up the stairs towards the painting of fruit. Twice his stomach had grumbled loudly, but only once had someone been nearby to notice it. Malfoy had no trouble knocking the student out. Dumbledore was getting sloppy on choosing the right people to be prefects, but Dumbledore was getting sloppy on a lot of things. He especially didn't know how to treat The-Boy-Who-Lived.

Right as he was turning a corner though, he ran into someone. Malfoy easily kept his balance, but the other thing wasn't so lucky. He heard the thing let out a quick "oof" before it fell to the floor.

Malfoy squinted hard, trying to figure out what or who he had run into, but nothing seemed to be there. Quickly he pointed his wand at the floor and cast a quick charm cancelling spell. Immediately a bushy haired girl he was all too familiar with appeared.

"Granger." He growled quietly to her.

Hermione looked up at him a little frightened before she scrambled to her feet, brushing herself off in the process. She tried to explain herself, but all that came out were stutters and squeaks. The girl seemed to be scared shitless. Malfoy pointed his wand at her again to silence her.

"Now, please explain to me why you are out here after hours in a language I can understand, Granger." He told her simply then slowly lowered his wand.

Hermione looked at him fearfully, but was able to explain a lot better. "Ron and I haven't seen Harry since Charms, our last class together. He wasn't at dinner, and still hasn't come back to the Gryffindor common room."

Malfoy froze for a quick second. Before Hermione could notice, he was able to compose himself again. "Why isn't the pathetic Weasel with you?"

"He...he went to bed." She said sheepishly.

Malfoy wanted to break into the red head's room and strangle him to death. Didn't he know what problems his friend was going through? No wonder Harry was always so depressed. No one seemed to care except him and Hermione. And they all expected the teen to save them of some stupid dark lord? Pathetic.

"The great trio breaking apart are they?" Malfoy sneered.

Hermione finally got enough courage to glare at the blonde. Malfoy was impressed.

"I shouldn't even be bothering with you, Malfoy. You're nothing but an irritating ferrot right now. So, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to continue looking for my friend." Hermione shoved past Malfoy and strutted down the hall like she was much more important. Malfoy wanted to laugh at her and slap her at the same time. He may have been an irritating ferrot, but he was the only one who was really caring for the person she had set out to find.

***

Malfoy entered the Room of Requirement as quietly as he could. He didn't want to disturb the boy who was either sleeping, or passed out from blood loss. Malfoy hoped it was the first.

When he looked around, the room was the exact same as he had left it, except instead of it being brightly lit, only a few candles and a small fire in the fireplace lit the place.

"Potter?" Malfoy whispered. He didn't know why he whispered. No one else was around to hear him. He tried to focus his eyes in the darkness, but had no success. Instead, he lit the tip of his wand and searched the room for the boy.

In a matter of seconds, he found Harry huddled in a ball in the corner. The boy was shaking, but Malfoy didn't know if it was because he was crying, was cold, or was from something else entirely. No matter what the reason though, Malfoy walked over to him, kneeled down and slowly brought him into his arms. He found that Harry seemed to be crying, but no sound escaped his lips and no more tears ran down his already damp cheeks.

"Potter, what are you doing?" Malfoy asked with a little anger.

Harry instantly stopped shaking. He looked up at Malfoy before he escaped his grasp and stood. Harry stayed in the corner, back against the wall, hands hugging himself, staring at Malfoy. Malfoy slowly stood up as to not frighten the already shocked boy.

"Potter, people are looking for you. You should go back to your common room." Malfoy told him, slowly taking a small step forward. Harry didn't seem to notice.

Harry shook his head and held himself tighter.

"But, Potter, if you don't show up, people will most likely come here looking for you next."

Harry shook his head harder. Malfoy took a larger step forward. This time Harry noticed and pushed his back against the wall even more.

"Please, Potter, at least say something." Malfoy pleaded.

"Why did you leave?" Harry whispered.

Malfoy stopped in the middle of another step forward and stared straight into the teen's emerald eyes. He didn't really know what to say so he said the only thing he could think of. "I don't know."

Tears started to form in Harry's eyes again and slowly slipped down his cheeks. Malfoy was amazed at how the teen who seemed to be strong and brave in front of everyone could be so helpless and scared. But he knew the strength and bravery had only been a show after the first few years. Now he was only helpless and scared, a result of the wear and tear everyone had caused on him.

"How can you not know?" He looked pained when he said this. Malfoy just wanted to shoot himself.

"I don't want to be a burden, Potter. I'd only be an addition to the problems you already have. I'm already enough trouble for you now by being a friend."

Harry dropped his arms. Malfoy noticed that there were plenty of new cuts bleeding freely. None of them were deep, but there was quite a number of them.

"You're not a problem, Malfoy. You're one of my only solutions and I thank you for that. Never consider yourself a problem for me." Harry told him with more confidence. This time it was him who stepped forward.

"Potter, you should get back to your common room before even more people start to worry." Malfoy told him.

"Who's looking for me now?" Harry asked.

"Granger...and Weasley." Malfoy lied. If he had told him only Hermione, Harry was sure to have had another moment of despair.

Harry nodded as if he understood. Then he walked by Malfoy and went to a bookshelf built into the wall that Malfoy hadn't noticed before. He took one down and went to the couch where he cracked it open and started reading. Malfoy was so baffled at Harry's actions that he didn't move for a minute or two.

"Um, Potter, what are you doing exactly?" Malfoy asked and sat down next to him once he got over Harry's casual behavior.

Harry looked up from his book and looked at Malfoy like he was stupid. He raised the book a few inches. "What does it look like I'm doing, Malfoy? I'm reading."

Malfoy raised an eyebrow. "But why?"

Harry laughed like Malfoy had just said a funny joke then closed the book and set it on the ground. "Because I always enjoy watching you get confused." A grin had formed on his face, one that Malfoy liked to see.

"Well I'm glad I am able to amuse you, Potter." Malfoy told him in an extremely sarcastic tone. Then, without warning, Malfoy grasped Harry by the shoulders and fervishly kissed the raven haired boy. Harry returned it just as enthusiastically and neither of them paused like something was wrong.

Gently, Malfoy pushed the smaller boy down onto the couch and laid over him like he had earlier that day. Harry tried to roll them around but failed miserably. He gave up, not caring anymore about who dominated who. All he seemed to want was Malfoy.

Malfoy ravished Harry with kisses on his lips, jawline, and neck. He licked, nibbled, and bit what looked to be every inch of the areas. Harry didn't care. He just wrapped his arms around the other's teen's neck and let him go on. Plenty of times, Malfoy's pleasure made him moan or whimper in pleasure and Malfoy growled and moaned right back. The two were perfectly at it, never seeming to slow.

***

Once the two were finally breathless, they laid together on the floor. Neither of them remembered when they had fallen off the couch. Malfoy's right hand held tightly onto Harry's left as his left hand went behind his neck and started to fondle with the boy's long locks.

"Now do you have an answer to why you kissed me earlier today?" Malfoy asked Harry, looking down at him.

Harry smiled and looked at him with glittering green eyes. "I think I'm falling for you, Malfoy."

Malfoy raised an eyebrow, amused. "You only _think_?"

Harry's smile turned into a grin. "So far, yeah, I do."

* * *

**A/N: There's the fifth chapter. It's a little longer than the rest so hopefully you like that part. Again, thank you to everyone who is reading this. I really appreciate it!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter Six**

Malfoy and Harry kept laying for another hour. Both had forgotten that Hermione was looking for Harry. When they realized how late it was, both hurried back to their appointed places. Neither was prepared for the people they'd face there.

***

"Malfoy, where have you been? You've been gone all night." Blaise Zabini asked once Malfoy entered his room he shared with the other teen. The two were lucky to have the room to themselves.

"I went to get some food." Malfoy replied as he took off his robe.

"For two hours?" Blaise asked, not buying it.

Malfoy shrugged. Harry was definately rubbing off on him.

"So, while you were eating, you just happened to get a bunch of blood all over your face and neck?"

Malfoy looked at his friends confused, then quickly went to the mirror they had in the room. Malfoy's eyes turned wide when he saw that his whole face was splattered with blood and his neck was covered even more. Not a moment later, he made it all disappear with a flick of his wand.

"So what's the blood from?" Blaise asked.

"I knocked out a prefect that had seen me. I think they were from Hufflepuff. Nothing to worry about." Malfoy said as he changed then got into his own bed.

Blaise nodded, but Malfoy could tell the Slytherin didn't believe him one bit. He knew all too well that Malfoy would never get himself dirty unless under _very_ little circumstances. Simply punching someone was far from any of them. But, Blaise knew when to let it go, so he did and both of them went to sleep.

***

Harry cleaned himself up on the way back to the Gryffindor common room. He made all of his cuts and every drop of blood disappear. He also tried his best to fix his hair and make the bruises Malfoy had left less visable. He would have just used a spell to make the bruises go away, but for some reason he couldn't make himself do it.

"Harry! Where have you been!" Hermione exclaimed the moment Harry walked behind the portrait. He shrugged and passed the girl, heading in the direction of his room.

"Harry, it's past three-o-clock. What did you possible have to do that lasted so long?" Hermione put her hands on her hips. Harry supposed she thought it made her seem more in charge, but Harry thought it actually made her seem childish.

"I told you, Hermione. I was studying. Being gone for so long has made me fall behind. Why do you think Dumbledore made me drop my Herbology class?" Harry replied without stopping.

"You and I both know that you were caught up to where we are before we even started school, Harry." Hermione whispered loudly.

"It took me till Christmas actually." Harry corrected her. He didn't care if she knew he had lied because he was never going to tell her the truth.

"Then why were you gone?" Hermione asked again.

"Goodnight, Hermione." Harry told her as he opened his room's door and shut it in her face.

***

The next day Harry felt extremely happy. The last time he had felt this way was when he had received his acception letter to Hogwarts. For too long he had been deprived of the feeling.

For a first in months, Harry woke up, got ready, and left to the Great Hall for breakfast before Hermione or Ron could bug him. Only a handful of others were down there with him, including Malfoy. Harry smiled to him as he sat down where the blonde was in his range of vision. Malfoy returned the smile.

The Great Hall was extremely quiet until ten minutes later when the big rush of students came in to eat. Hermione and Ron came and sat next to Harry, but he was already finishing up his plate.

"Harry, we were wondering where you were." Hermione said as she sat down and poured herself a glass of pumpkin juice.

"I was here, eating, Hermione. Stop trying to know my every whereabout. It's not your problem." Harry stood up and left the girl speechless. Right before he got to the door though, she somehow got the courage to stand and yell to him.

"It is our problem, Harry. You just won't let us help you!"

Harry stopped, frowned, then turned around to face the girl. "I don't let you help me because it's not your problem. It's not your problem because you don't care. You two have never cared." He said it so coldly that everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at the boy they thought was full of light. Never had they thought such a person could be so mean.

Hermione stood there embarassed. Harry smirked and left the Hall, walking towards the bathroom. No one noticed Malfoy quietly walk out after him.

***

Malfoy found Harry leaning against a wall, looking out of the single window in the room. The view wasn't that special, just the Forbidden Forest. Malfoy looked out at it to see what exactly got the boy's attention but found nothing.

"Potter, what's wrong?" Malfoy finally asked, placing a hand on the shoulder of the raven haired teen. Harry switched his gaze to the blonde. His green eyes that were so alive the night before, were now dull and void.

"I just need them to leave me alone, but Hermione won't let go. She thinks that they're my only way of being 'saved.' Why won't they listen to me?" Harry seemed so desperately lost at the question. Malfoy grabbed Harry's other shoulder. He forced the boy to face him completely.

"Potter, they care for you. Maybe you don't want them to, but you can't just push them away hoping they'll stop. That's what friends do."

Harry laughed and shrugged off Malfoy's hands before he walked to a sink, gripped the sides, and looked at Malfoy through the mirror above it. "You think they _care_?" He laughed again then looked down. "The first time I ever came to Hogwarts, I met the Weasley's at the barrier. They seemed so nice, so _caring_, but the whole picture shattered the moment I overheard Mrs. Weasley whisper to Ron. 'That's Harry Potter, Ronald. Become his friend. He'll make the Weasley name known.' I let the redhead follow me and share a compartment with me on the train. He asked me my name and I told him. His eyes got all big and shiny like a little kid just got a new toy. He thought he had found the answer to fame."

Malfoy was shocked. He never knew the Weasley's were so deceitful. They seemed like such a pathetic family that stood by the rules of honesty and family. Harry quickly spun around, gripped the sink again, but looked at Malfoy with dark eyes.

"Then, Hermione just had to come along looking for Neville's _stupid _frog. She seemed like such a nice little girl, all sweet and innocent. She seemed to not care who I was, just smiled to me as she told me she read about me in a book or two. When she left the compartment though I was able to catch her smile turn into a smirk. The girl already knew that I would get her places. Lucky me, I made two friends already. Too bad they were friends of my fame."

"Are you sure of all this, Potter?" Malfoy asked. Everything he said could be things he made up as the years went on.

"Time after time I would catch them talking about some interview or something else that had the possibility of them becoming something more. The moment they saw me, they'd immediately stop talking. When I heard about the possibility of an interview, they'd say small things that hinted I should do one. Then when I did finally agree to one, they told me to remember to tell the interviewer things, things that involved mostly them."

"I thought they always told you don't do it."

Harry laughed again. "That's what it sounds like, but if you listen closely you can hear the want. 'Oh Harry, they're most likely going to write more lies than truths. Maybe you shouldn't do it. But, if you don't, they'll think your stuck up. Oh Harry, it's your choice if you want them to know about the things we've done.' _We've_, that was always in one of their talks. It was never what _I _did. It was always _we_."

"Potter...I didn't realize." Malfoy felt extremely bad. The boy really was left alone. But now he wasn't going to be.

Harry waved his hand, telling him that it didn't matter. "I'm used to it, Malfoy. I've lived with it ever since I found out who I was."

Malfoy hugged Harry tightly. He couldn't let the boy feel like he was just someone to be used, someone who would never have a true friend. Malfoy also knew from experience. The Malfoy's were always trying to be used, but usually the people who tried ended up dying only days later.

"Harry, I'm not like that. I'm not like that at all." He whispered into the poor boy's ear.

Harry got out of Malfoy's grasp and looked at the blonde strangely.

"What?" Malfoy asked.

"You just called me Harry. You've never called me that."

Malfoy paused then laughed and smiled. "I guess that means you can call me Draco."

* * *

**A/N: Hope you liked this chapter. I know that all of my chapters aren't really that long, but I try to make up for it by posting as much as I can. Once a day is what I'm aiming for, but there will be times where you'll have to wait just a little bit longer. I'm sorry. But thanks to everyone who is reading this!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter Seven**

Harry was lying on his bed, thinking. Before, thinking had just made him more and more depressed. Now, thinking made him smile and laugh. He had been able to only think about Malfoy...no, Draco. Draco made him have plenty of good things to think about.

Last night they had hung out in the Room of Requirement once again. Hermione and Ron didn't bother asking where Harry had gone. Harry's outburst in the Great Hall had made the two lose hope. Harry wasn't going to get them anywhere.

"Harry, are you coming to dinner?" Neville asked the stupidly grinning boy. Every night, he made sure to ask, but the answer was always the same.

"No, I have other plans tonight. Have a good time, Neville." Harry sat up and waved the boy away. He liked the kid. Neville was a true friend, no matter how 'different' he seemed.

Neville nodded and left Harry alone again. Harry changed out of his usual school clothes and into something much nicer. Tonight he was going to have dinner with Draco. Looking bad was not on his agenda.

***

Draco had forced everyone out of his room the moment classes had ended. Tonight was going to be special. He was having dinner with Harry at the top of the Astronomy tower. It was going to be the best time they'd ever had together and Draco was going to make sure of it.

Now he was deciding on what he should wear. Harry had it easy. All he had to do was change into a pair of his baggy pants, and a tight shirt and Draco would be happy. But, Draco knew that he needed to look good. Finally after an hour of trying on different outfits, he decided on a pair of nicely fitting dark wash jeans, and a simple white, long sleeved, button-up shirt.

Finally, after putting on his usual leather boots, grabbing his wand, and making sure his hair was perfect, Draco felt he was ready to face Harry. He took a deep breath, left his room, ignored everyone in the common room, and headed towards the Astronomy tower.

***

Harry got there first. He waited at the bottom of the stairs like they had planned. He leaned against a wall and looked at the floor. It was perfectly shining, but Harry knew it had been covered in his blood only a few months before. Draco had asked him if he was going to be alright having dinner at the same spot where he had his 'accident' but Harry refused to make his 'problem' prevent them from doing something.

Harry kept looking at the ground until he heard the familiar footsteps of one Draco Malfoy. Smiling, he looked up and stared at the perfect looking blonde in front of him. The sight of him always made him catch his breath and this time almost forced him to stop breathing all together. Never had he seen someone so perfect looking. He wondered how he could have ever been enemies with the boy.

Draco thought the exact same thing the moment he turned the corner and Harry came into view. Instead of wearing the clothes Draco thought he would have worn, Harry was dressed in perfect fitting black jeans and had on a grey sweater that looked great on him. His black hair was somewhat more tidy than usual, but it still had its messy look. Draco loved every bit of it.

"Hey." Harry was able to say. He pushed himself off the wall and walked over to Draco to lightly kiss him on the lips.

"Shall we go up?" Draco asked after they kissed. Harry looked up the stairs, remembering everything that had happened up there. He must have been thinking for awhile because he felt arms wrap around his waist and a voice whisper in his ear. "We don't have to have the dinner up there. We could easily move it somewhere else. I understand."

Harry shook his head and turned around to face Draco who still had his hands wrapped around Harry. "I have to get through this at some point. It's not like going up there is going to make me do the same thing over again. I've practically quit. It's been almost two weeks since I've cut."

Draco smiled to the teen, grabbed his hand and pulled him up the stairs. They skipped the door that lead to the room where Harry had spent most of his days that year. Harry looked at it for a short second before Draco lightly tugged on his arm. They didn't stop walking up the stairs until they reached the top.

"Draco, it's beautiful." Harry breathed when he saw what Draco had done. A single table covered with a crimson tablecloth was surrounded by two simple chairs. Two crimson candles were already burning brightly at the center of the table. A half full wine glass was at both of their seats.

"I tried my best. I didn't want it to be too much, but I wasn't sure if it was too little." Draco said as he went over and pulled out a chair for Harry. Harry sat down and Draco followed suit.

"No, it's perfect, just like you." Harry told him once they both were sitting. He thought he saw the blonde slightly blush.

"So, do you want to eat now or wait a little longer?" Draco asked.

"We can wait. I like talking to you." Harry quickly answered.

Draco was afraid of this answer. It was one of the reasons he decided to have dinner with him instead of just spending time with him. Harry was getting better with his cutting, but every time he saw him at breakfast or lunch he saw that the teen would just grab a few things and poke or nibble on them. And even that was very seldom because most of the time Harry wasn't even there. Now Draco was going to use this opportunity to prove his theory right.

They talked about usual stuff, school and homework and quidditch. Then Draco pressed one subject. "So you aren't talking to Hermione or Ron at all now?"

Harry had been looking down when he asked the question and kept it down when he finished. He didn't speak at all.

"Harry?" Draco asked.

Harry looked up with a calm expression and took a sip of his wine. "No, I haven't spoken to either of them since that day I yelled at Hermione."

"So you don't talk to anyone except me?"

Harry shook his head. "No, I talk to Neville. I also talk to a few others once in awhile. Why? Do you think I'm trying to isolate myself now?" Harry laughed like he had made some sort of joke. Draco didn't laugh.

"No, I was just wondering because when I see you at breakfast or lunch I don't usually see you talking to anyone unless they're asking you to pass something. And you're almost always with me from after classes to curfew."

Harry looked at him and smiled like nothing seemed to be wrong. "I'm fine, Draco, but thanks for asking. It's nice knowing someone actually cares for me." He set his wine glass down and held Draco's empty hand that had been sitting on the table.

"I'll always care for you, Harry. Never forget that. Now, should we eat?" Draco set down his own wine glass.

Harry looked at his practically empty glass then looked back at Draco. His emerald eyes sparkled and his lips were in a smile. Then, he slowly stood up, still holding Draco's hand, and pulled the other boy up. With his free hand, Harry took out his wand, muttered a few words, and waved the stick. Suddenly, a soft and slow tune played. Draco raised an eyebrow but let the raven haired teen pull him farther away from the table. Then, Harry placed his other hand on Draco's shoulder.

Draco laughed in his head. Even though Harry thought up and started most of the things they did together, Draco was always the one to end up leading. Harry truly was a wonder.

Draco slowly waltzed with the boy, their eyes locked on to each other's. Both of them were quite practiced from the lessons they had to take for the Yule Ball their fourth year. Even though Harry was taught how to lead, it wasn't hard for him to follow.

Neither of them knew how long they danced. It was too hard for either of them to stop, but finally Draco got a hold of his senses and stopped them. Harry frowned when they stopped, but Draco kissed him lightly to make him smile again.

"We still haven't eaten yet, Harry. Aren't you hungry?" Draco asked, looking at the table. The candles were already halfway melted.

Harry shrugged. "Not particularly. Why don't we dance some more?"

Draco shook his head. "I think we've danced enough for tonight. I planned this to be a dinner. Dinner involves eating."

"Once we eat, the date will be over. If we don't eat yet, it'll be longer." Harry smiled.

Draco's face held concern. He held both of Harry's hands tightly and looked straight into his green eyes. "Harry, please answer me. Answer this one question. Why won't you eat?"

"I eat, Draco. You've seen me eat." Harry replied.

"Yes, I've seen you eat, but, when I do, you hardly eat anything. And you don't usually come to breakfast or lunch."

"What are you saying, Draco?" Harry's eyes turned dark. His hands in Draco's grip went limp. "What are you thinking?"

"I-I don't exactly know, Harry." Draco answered. "The only thing I do know is the caring part of me is starting to worry about you."

Harry's dark look turned even worse. He pulled his hands out of Draco's grasp and ran away from him, back down the stairs. Instead of reaching the bottom though, the door he had gone through so many times before, called to him once again. Harry tried to fight the urge, but at the same time he wanted to open the door. Finally, in the end, he placed his hand on the doorknob, opened the door, and stepped into the room that served as his refuge.

* * *

**A/N: There you have the seventh chapter. Hopefully it has met your expectations. I think it's met mine. As always, thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter Eight**

Draco sat at the table set for two, alone. Never had he cried before, but this time he wasn't able to hold his tears back. Again, he had made the one person he cared for the most, angry. He hadn't meant to, but it was too late to not.

He knew that he shouldn't have meddled so far into the teen's life. It was way too soon. Even though most people would say that a person should get help as soon as possible, Draco thought differently. They needed their space and Draco had crowded Harry's. Now, he wasn't sure if the boy would even talk to him again. He was probably as angry as he was when he yelled at Hermione.

***

Harry wondered when someone was going to find him. Draco had to be coming down soon. Surely he would look in the room, making sure he wasn't doing what he had just done. Harry laughed to himself out loud. Draco was going to be in for a surprise.

***

Draco sighed and finally stood up after what seemed like forever. He wondered why he stayed up on the tower. Did a part of him think that Harry was going to come back? He knew that Harry wasn't the type to immediately go running back to apologize. He was one to make things difficult for others. Maybe it was his way of revenge, but it hurt both people equally.

Suddenly, feeling extremely stupid, Draco ran down the stairs. He almost ran past the door that Harry frequently opened before he stopped, wondering. He wouldn't stay so close, would he? Not knowing what he was going to face, Draco slowly opened the door.

"Draco!" Harry murmured happily. He had a smile on his lips even though he seemed to be close to passing out.

Draco didn't know what to do this time. The boy had his grey sweater off and thrown in a corner. Not a single drop of blood seemed to be on it, but Harry seemed to be a different story. There were cuts up his arms, all the way to his shoulders. Every single one of them looked to be bleeding freely, making his arms have the exact same color as the tablecloth that Draco had picked out for the table above them. But that wasn't the worst of it. From the top of his jeans, over his belly button, to the end of his chin, Harry had a never ending cut. Luckily it wasn't exactly deep, but it was deep enough to let enough blood escape to cover his torso and pool below him.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come up and show you, Draco." Harry continued to softly speak. "I wanted to, but for some reason I can't seem to muster enough energy to even move anymore."

Draco ran over to him and grabbed one of Harry's arms. There had to be at least thirty cuts. "How are you even conscious?"

Harry ignored the question. Instead he frowned. "Draco, why have you been crying?"

Draco didn't hear him. He was too busy healing the cuts on both of his arms. When he was finished with that, he looked at the long cut that seemed to take over Harry's body. Draco wasn't even sure at how to heal the thing. He didn't know if a simple healing spell would cure it. Instead, he decided to do what a Muggle would do. He took off his white shirt, now only slightly covered in blood, and pressed it to the deepest part of Harry's cut.

"Harry, where's your knife?" Draco finally spoke again.

Harry looked down at his right hand where he was holding the metal that was drenched in blood. Draco slowly pried it from his bloody hand and pocketed it.

"Are you going to return that?" Harry asked.

Draco glared at him as he tried to keep enough pressure on the boy's wound. He didn't want to move Harry, but what he was doing didn't seem to be helping. Finally, he decided on the right thing. He took Harry into his arms, trying his best to keep pressure on the cut, and made his way out of the room and down the stairs. No one was around, so Draco kept walking towards the Hospital Wing.

Finally, right before he got to the door, Madame Pomfrey opened it. She gasped at the sight before her and hurried Draco through. She led him to the same room they had kept Harry before and made Draco lay him down on the nearest bed.

"Where was he?" She asked as she hurried around, collecting things she'd need.

Draco kept pressure on the wound as he watched her. "I found him in the Astronomy Tower."

"You do know you could just ask me." Harry spoke up. Somehow, he still hadn't passed out. It was practically a miracle.

Madame Pomfrey finally finished with searching for things and set them all on the bedside table. She made Draco remove his now ruined shirt before she took out her wand and quickly healed the cut. It wasn't the same spell Draco had used for Harry's arms, so he was grateful he had made the right decision. Then, she had forced Harry to drink what seemed like a bucketful of potions. At first Harry refused, but Madame Pomfrey was able to force down the liquids. Draco was completely impressed.

"Draco, go get Professor Dumbledore." Madame Pomfrey finally said after forcing what seemed like the tenth potion down Harry's throat. Draco, now numb from watching everything happen, just nodded and quickly ran out of the room and to the headmaster's office. When he was there, he realized he didn't know the password.

"Please let me get past." Draco pleaded to the gargoyles that were guarding the way. Neither of them moved. "It's an emergency!"

He must have been yelling quite loud because, after awhile, Dumbledore came hurrying down the steps. Only then did the gargoyles part to let him through.

"Draco? What is it you need, and why are you shirtless and full of blood?" Dumbledore looked almost afraid.

"It's Harry, Professor. Madame Pomfrey told me to come get you right away." Draco explained. Dumbledore didn't wait any longer. He ran down the halls with Draco following his tail. They passed a few students who were still roaming the halls. Draco didn't stop to yell at them for staring. He was too concerned and scared for his one and only Harry.

***

Draco sat at the chair next to Harry's bed. They were still in the Hospital Wing, except Dumbledore had Harry moved to an even more private room than before. This time there was only a single bed, bedside table, and chair. Draco hadn't left the room ever.

After Madame Pomfrey had finished giving Harry all of the potions, Harry had finally passed out. Draco was amazed at how long he had stayed awake, but now it was three days later. Draco was starting to get worried. If Harry didn't wake up soon, Draco didn't know what he'd do. Never had anyone had such an affect on him. The boy could make him extremely happy, but he could give him so much pain that it actually brought tears to his eyes.

Harry seemed to be in a peaceful sleep. Not once did he stir. Draco took the boy's hand and gently kissed the palm. Then he kissed his fingertips and finally the back of his hand. Then, unexpectedly, he felt Harry's hand grasp his. Draco's eyes quickly flew up to Harry's head. The boy stirred a little bit before he finally opened his eyes almost painfully slow. The first thing they looked at was Draco.

Draco smiled. "You're awake."

Harry frowned. "I'm sorry I broke your promise."

* * *

**A/N: Sorry I'm a little late on posting this chapter. At least it's only a day late! Hope you liked the eighth chapter. And, as always, I thank you for reading this story.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter Nine**

Draco never left Harry's side. He couldn't. Dumbledore tried to get him to go back to classes, but Draco wouldn't budge. Even if he did go back, he wouldn't be able to do anything. All of his thoughts would be focused on Harry.

After the first time Harry woke up, he would drift in and out of consciousness. Once in awhile he'd be awake enough to have a small conversation with Draco, but most of the time he wasn't. Draco didn't care. As long as he knew the boy was still alive, he was fine.

"Draco, you need to go back to class now." Dumbledore tried once again. It had been almost a month. Harry was starting to stay more awake now, but at the moment he was unconscious. "If you don't, you'll be behind on your studies. Your N.E.W.T.S. are in only a few weeks time. If you don't take them, you won't graduate."

"I've already told you, Professor, I'm not leaving Harry alone." Draco glared at the headmaster. He didn't care what the man did because of it. He didn't care about the man at all anymore.

"He'll be in perfectly good hands. You can always visit him before and after classes."

Draco let go of Harry's hand and stood up. He glared into the blue eyes of the headmaster until finally the old man looked away. "I don't care if he'll be in good hands. I need him in perfect hands and that will only happen if I'm with him. Both his and my studies are up to standards anyways. If you wanted, I could take the N.E.W.T.S. right now and probably pass with flying colors." Draco spat at the man then sat down again and held Harry's hand.

Dumbledore was speechless. He didn't know what to say anymore. If Draco was fine in his studies, there was no other way to make him leave. Instead, he just left silently. Draco smirked and kissed the sleeping boy's fingers.

***

Only days later, Harry was closer to making a full recovery. He was awake more than Draco. This made Draco overjoyed even if he couldn't always stay awake with him.

"When am I getting out of here?" Harry asked for what seemed like the thousandth time.

"Poppy just told you two days ago, Harry." Draco smiled and shook his head. Harry was becoming more like his normal self and it was something to be happy about. "She's letting you out in two days because of N.E.W.T.S. You should be thankful she's letting you out early. This was worse than the last time you got stuck in here."

Harry nodded and grabbed Draco's hand. He held it as tight as he could, but it wasn't much. Most of his strength was still gone. "Draco, what are we going to do after school?"

Draco looked at Harry. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, staying with me isn't the best plan for you. You could be anyone you want. You could have everything. I'd just be holding you back."

Draco looked at Harry like he was crazy. "Harry, I care for you. That's why I'm staying with you. I'll always be there for you, no matter what happens or what people think."

"What people think?" Harry laughed. "People obviously know about us now. What are we going to do about that?"

Draco raised his eyebrow. "Are you embarrassed about us, Harry James Potter?"

Harry's eyes widened and he quickly shook his head. "No! I just don't want people making fun of you for being with me. It's probably going to be hard enough for them to get over the fact that you like..."

Draco laughed at Harry for not being able to finish his sentence. "Guys? Harry, I'm pretty sure they've figured that out quite a long time ago. I'm surprised that you hadn't known yourself. I'm pretty sure Weasley and Granger had known."

"They weren't too great at telling me everything. Plus, I had my own life to worry about."

Draco nodded understandingly. He knew that the boy hadn't really been all interested in anything. "I should have noticed that something was wrong the moment you quit Quidditch."

Harry turned to look up at the ceiling. "Quidditch. It was such a huge part of my school years." He gave out a small laugh. "I guess no one noticed how much I hated the game. They were all too focused on my 'ability.' Everyone took it as a shock when they found out I had told Dumbledore I quit the sport only moments after everyone left the Great Hall the first day. I'm surprised you quit too."

"There seriously wasn't any competition left once you quit. The sport got boring." Draco explained. "You know, it's funny how the only reason I persuaded my father to get me on the team was because you were on it. Then, I was set on beating you, showing everyone that you really weren't all that special. No one expected that we'd go from being complete enemies to being...I don't even know how to say it."

"Together?" Harry inquired.

Draco laughed. "Yeah, I guess that's what we are now, huh? Together. It's so...I don't know...opposite."

"It wouldn't have been if I had done things differently." Harry said. He looked back at Draco. "Remember the first day we came here?"

Draco smiled. "I remember even farther back. The first time we met was at Madam Malkin's. You seemed to be so lost. Usually I made fun of those who looked stupid, but you were different. You interested me."

"I looked stupid?" Harry looked hurt but he had a glint in his eye showing that he was just faking it.

"I thought everyone looked stupid unless they were a friend of mine." Draco said simply. "Then I heard rumors going around the train that you were going to school. You were going to be in my year. Truthfully, I was jealous of you. If I made you my friend, it would give me the chance to make you do stuff for me. It would prove that I was better than you. Now that I think about it, I was a selfish child back then."

Harry snorted. "And you're not selfish anymore?"

Draco just glared and lightly punched the teen on the shoulder. Harry laughed.

"We were both stupid little eleven-year-olds back then. Neither of us knew what was good for us. I should have either shaken your hand or listened to the Sorting Hat. I probably wouldn't be in this mess if I had." Harry sighed.

Draco was confused. He didn't understand what the boy was saying. "What do you mean 'listened to the Sorting Hat'?"

"The Hat thought I'd do better in Slytherin than in Gryffindor. Since Ron had put all these bad thoughts in my head about Slytherin, I begged it to put me somewhere else. That's how I ended up in Gryffindor. I wondered if I really was supposed to be in Gryffindor, but Dumbledore assured me I was. He told me I wouldn't have been able to get Gryffindor's sword in my second year if I wasn't born to be in his house. I still wonder if anything the man has told me is true."

Draco was speechless. He couldn't believe it. The raven haired boy that he cared for could have been with him from the start. There wouldn't have been any fights. There wouldn't have been any difficult 'friends.' Everything would have been simpler. The two probably would have been together a lot sooner. Everything would have been perfect.

"Draco are you alright?" Harry asked, breaking Draco from his thoughts.

Draco smiled and bent down to kiss Harry's forehead and then his lips. "I'm better than ever."

Harry smiled back. "That's good because I just figured something out."

Draco raised his eyebrow again. "And what's that?"

"I know I'm falling for you now."

* * *

**A/N: There's the ninth chapter. I think it's one of my favorites so far. I hope you liked it too! As always, thanks to everyone who's reading!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter Ten**

N.E.W.T.S. were what scared most of the kids at Hogwarts. If at least half of your N.E.W.T.S. weren't more than average, your job probably wouldn't be the greatest. But that was the reason for studying and why most classes were cancelled a week before.

Harry and Draco took the time to be together more often. Neither of them needed to study. Both of them knew more things than they needed to and remembering wasn't much of a problem. The only thing that was a problem was getting back to their rooms by curfew.

"Harry, you're late again." Neville looked up from the book he was reading by candlelight. He was always up much later than everyone else, studying like crazy. Harry had asked why he did it, but Neville had explained for about an hour about how his grandmother would be very disappointed if he didn't pass everything. Harry knew his grandmother was always on him about his grades and Neville loved her too much to let her get disappointed.

"I know. I'm trying to get back on time, but I haven't been getting much better at it."

Neville laughed. "It's alright. When you find someone, it's extremely difficult to get away from them."

Harry nodded sheepishly. He knew Neville had finally asked Luna Lovegood out and they were perfectly happy together. Luckily though, they both needed to study and knew they couldn't see each other that much until their exams were done. Neither Harry nor Draco had an excuse. "Thanks for being so understanding, Neville. I don't know what I'd do without you, seriously."

Neville smiled politely. "It's no problem. You've always been there for me. I'm not just gonna back down on you now."

Harry smiled and left the boy to his studies. He went up to his room, changed into his pajamas, and got into his bed. Right before he was able to fall asleep though, he heard the sound of whispering. Staying as still as he could, pretending to be asleep, Harry tried his best to listen to the conversation.

"He just thinks he's all that, never having to study." the voice of the Weasley was easily distinguishable.

"He was studying nonstop practically all year, Ron. I think the kid deserves a break." a voice that seemed to be Seamus Finnigan. He never really seemed to dislike Harry anymore than he did before either.

"But, Seamus, what he does with his spare time is what bugs me." Ron spoke again.

"I'd have to agree with Ron here, Seamus. Being with Malfoy is a bit strange, don't you think?" the voice of Dean Thomas asked.

There was a moment of silence and then a clearly over exaggerated shudder. "I still want to figure out how that ferret got Harry to believe all that nonsense. Never _caring_. Psh, Ferret Boy is the one that doesn't care. Harry's got a reputation to hold up and Malfoy's just ruining it. I bet he told Harry to yell at Hermione that one day." Ron said. "If it wasn't for that Slytherin, everything would be the same as always."

"Are you sure about that, Ron?" Seamus asked. "Harry didn't seem to be with Malfoy the first time he got put in the hospital wing."

Harry heard a scoff. It was most likely Ron.

"They were probably seeing each other in secret. Who knows how long this thing has been going on? But I do know one thing. It needs to end _now_." Ron told them.

There was another long pause, the shuffling of people getting under their covers, and then the sound of the door opening and closing. Neville had most likely just finished with his studying. Harry moved around a bit, trying to get more comfortable, then finally fell asleep completely.

***

When Harry woke up the next morning, he wasn't exactly in the greatest of moods. The conversation he had heard between Ron, Seamus, and Dean was part of the problem. But, the dreams he'd had afterward didn't help at all either. He'd had three different dreams, but they all had been different scenarios of Draco leaving him. In one of them, he had died right before his eyes. In another, Draco had just left him without warning. But the third one had been the worst. Draco and him had been back up on the top of the Astronomy Tower. They were lying on a blanket, looking up at the stars. They were having a simple conversation until something Harry had said made the blonde angry. Draco sat up, looked down at Harry and told him straight out, 'I give up, Harry. Anything I try to do doesn't help, so I just give up. I hope you're happy now because this is where you got yourself.' Harry just stared at him shocked and watched the teen leave him.

Before any of the other boys woke, Harry dressed and went down to breakfast. He put food on his plate, but didn't eat it. Instead he stared at it and pushed it around with his fork. Usually he felt at least a little hungry, but this time he just felt sick. Once in awhile he'd look across the room at Draco, but the teen was never looking in his direction at the time. Instead, he was either eating and reading the day's Daily Prophet or he was in a conversation with one of his Slytherin friends.

Harry sighed. He wished he had someone else to talk to. Neville was a friend, but he never felt like he could tell him anything like he did Draco. Hermione and Ron were too long gone for him to talk to them either. Bored, he stood up and left the Great Hall to go walk around. It was something to do since there didn't seem to be anything else.

In the middle of the hall though, he met Ron and Hermione. They had been talking quietly to each other, but, once they saw Harry, they became silent almost immediately. Harry didn't mind. He was too used to it.

"Hi, Harry." Hermione spoke softly. Harry stopped walking. He didn't think either of them would try to talk to him ever again after yelling at them.

"Uh, hi." Harry replied. He didn't really know what to say.

"How have you been? We haven't really talked lately."

Harry was curious to why she was starting to. After his little outburst only a month ago, she didn't seem to have any intention to talk to him again. "I'm fine. How about you two?" He asked, being polite.

"We're studying hard." Hermione answered for the both of them. Ron just seemed to be looking at Harry. It made the raven haired boy a little uncomfortable. "Right now I'm a little jealous that you don't have to. I mean, it probably wouldn't hurt for you to stay in the common room with the rest of us and study once, but it's your choice."

Harry wanted to smile and laugh. That was why she was talking to him. Ron had probably talked to her about trying to get him away from Draco. Both of them wanted him back to help them. Draco was the only setback.

"Oh, I've been studying. Draco and I are making sure we know what we're doing." I told her. "He's been a really big help."

A frown formed on both of their faces. Ron's was more prominent though. "Oh." Hermione said. "Well, maybe you could skip a day with him to just hang out with us. We've really missed you, Harry, and we don't really trust Malfoy. Don't you remember all of the things he did to us in the past?"

"Yes." Harry answered. He didn't really know what else to say.

"So why are you with him now?" Ron finally spoke out.

"Because he seems to be the only one who knows what's best." A voice spoke behind Harry.

Harry spun around and found Draco glaring over him at Hermione and Ron. He walked to the side of Harry and took his hand, holding it tightly.

"How could you possibly know what's best for Harry?" Ron asked. "You haven't known him for as long as us."

Draco laughed. "I know him a lot better than you do."

Hermione and Ron both glared at the blonde. Ron's hand slowly traveled to his robe's pocket. Both Harry and Draco noticed this, but Draco was the first one to react. With a simple flick of his wrist, he had Ron sailing through the air until he hit the stone wall behind him and slid down.

During this time, Hermione got her own wand out and had it pointed at the Slytherin. "I'd advise you to step away from Harry, Malfoy. Just because you seem to know more than me, doesn't mean that I can't hurt you."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that, Granger. You don't know half of the things that Harry and I know. Either of us could have ten spells on you before you even speak a word."

"Try me." Hermione said coldly.

Draco smirked and replied. "With pleasure."

Hermione started to say some spell as quickly as she could, but Draco was quicker by doing the same thing he did to Ron. Only then did he take out his wand to tie her and Ron up. After a quick pause, he took their wands away and stuck them to the ceiling, turned both of their hair a bright green and knotted them together, gave them enough boils to last a lifetime, cut their clothes to shreds, turned their skin blue, and drenched them in a disgusting looking yellow goo. Once Draco was finished, the two Gryffindors finally got the courage to yell, but Harry quickly silenced them with a flick of his hand.

"I think I did pretty good, don't you?" Draco turned to Harry with a smirk on his face. Harry looked back at the two who were now struggling to speak and escape their bonds. He frowned, took out his wand, and pointed it at the two separately. Suddenly looks of sheer horror came upon them. After another flick of his wand, Harry turned back to Draco, took his hand, and they walked away.

"I think they'll understand now that I'm never leaving you." Harry finally spoke once the two were safe in the Room of Requirement.

Draco looked at Harry confused. "What did you do to them exactly?"

Harry laughed and sat down on the couch that they had formed. "Oh, I just messed with their minds a bit. They think they're seeing what they're afraid of the most. Ron thinks spiders are crawling all over him while Hermione thinks she has just found out she failed each and every one of her N.E.W.T.S. But neither of them can prove it to anyone."

"You used a secrecy spell?" Draco asked, sitting next to him.

"Yes, but it isn't the simple ones they taught us here. I found quite a few interesting books in Knockturn Alley. They'll probably end up figuring out how to cancel the spell, but it'll take them a lot longer than one year." Harry explained.

Draco smiled and shook his head as he looked at Harry. He kissed the boy then spoke. "You really should have been in Slytherin."

"I know." Harry said before he grinned back and kissed him again, this time more passionately.

* * *

**A/N: There's the tenth chapter. I wasn't about to post it because I seriously feel like crap and get majorly dizzy when I try to move, but that just proves how much I enjoy your reading my story! Thanks again!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter Eleven**

The N.E.W.T.S. had gone perfectly for both Harry and Draco. Well, that was the way they felt. Neither of them second guessed on any question. Each and every one of their examiners' faces held astonishment during their practical exams. Students glared at them on the way out.

"Do you think we'll pass, Draco?" Harry asked, just making himself sure, as the two were walking, hand in hand, towards Hogsmede after all of their exams were done.

"Don't worry yourself, Harry." Draco told him, squeezing his hand a little. "You probably did better than me on everything."

"Except for potions." Harry added. Draco laughed. "You've always been better than me at potions."

"Maybe that's because my godfather _is _the potions professor." Draco said. "Maybe it's because during the summer he teaches me too."

Harry made a face that looked like he was thinking about what Draco had said. Then he shook his head. "No, I don't think that's why."

Draco gave Harry a playful shove. "Then why am I better at potions?"

Harry grinned before he spoke. "You're better because I _let _you be better." He tried to run away, but Draco was able to keep Harry's hand in his.

Draco forced Harry to face him and looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "You _let_ me be better than you?"

Harry nodded, a grin still on his face. "Yep. Aren't I nice?"

Draco laughed before he pushed the teen to the ground and straddled him. "So, how should I thank you? Should I cover you in kisses?" He asked as he quickly kissed every piece of visible skin from Harry's neck and up. "Or, should I give you a slow, sensual kiss?" He immediately stopped kissing Harry and looked down into the boy's emerald eyes. He never could get enough of them.

Harry was breathing heavily from being overtaken so swiftly. "I like both." He finally answered when he was able to gather enough oxygen to speak.

Draco smirked. "I'm sorry because I really only like one of those choices." He proceeded to lower his lips to Harry's. Ever so gently they kissed like Draco had said, slow and sensually. They explored each other's mouths like the action had never been done before. But it didn't take long for everything to up its pace. Hands roamed each other's bodies. Mouths placed themselves everywhere. Tongues examined every inch. The two rolled around on the ground, moaning into each other. The only time when one's mouth would part the other was for a quick breath, and even those were limited.

"Harry." Draco breathed, his eyes flinging open when Harry nipped at a tender part on his neck.

"Hmm?" Harry asked as he kept going.

"Harry, I need to ask you something." Draco tried to speak coolly, but every lick and bite Harry gave made Draco gasp in between words.

"Don't ask if I'm hungry, Draco." Harry growled into the nape of the blonde's neck. "I'm getting my fill right now."

"No. It's about something I want." Draco told him, still having trouble speaking. "I want to know if you want it too."

Harry stopped what he was doing and pushed himself up with his arms to face Draco better. Draco wondered for a short second how Harry got to be on top and why he was acting like Draco usually did. Draco was usually the one who had the control. He was the one who usually domineered. Now, Harry was the one who seemed to have the upper hand.

"Are we thinking the same thing?" Harry asked a little cautiously. He always knew the moment would come, but for some reason he didn't know what he really wanted.

"Does it require an empty room and a bed?" Draco asked.

Harry nodded. "I...I don't know, Draco." He was so unsure.

"It's alright if you don't, Harry. I understand that. I really do. I'm not trying to rush you into anything." Draco told him. Then, taking his control back, he flipped them around so he was on top, and kissed Harry passionately again.

Harry broke them apart. "It's not that I don't. I'm just stuck in the middle. Half of me wants it. Really badly actually." He let out a nervous laugh. "But the other half of me is saying we should wait, until school's done and it'll be just the two of us. There won't be anything in our way."

Draco was silent for a moment before he kissed Harry again and mumbled against his lips. "I'm actually thinking the second half of you is pretty smart."

***

Everyone felt the excitement in the air on the last day. All of the seventh years were in the Great Hall, getting ready for their ceremony, pictures, and all of the congratulations that they were going to receive. Girls were running around, fussing about their robes and hair. Draco wasn't unlike them.

"Are you sure everything is fine?" Draco looked at Harry, unsure. He wanted to look his best in front of his father. Especially since Lucius had never visited during the year. He had no reason to since Draco had quit Quidditch.

Harry laughed. "Yes, Draco. Now stop fussing like a girl. You're almost worse than they are."

Draco glared at Harry, but Harry changed his expression to a smile when he gave Draco a quick peck on the lips. "You're lucky that I like you so much. Otherwise, I wouldn't be as forgiving."

"I know." Harry grinned. "That's why I do it so much."

Draco shook his head, a smile still on his face. Neville then came over, his whole self in disarray. Draco got wide-eyed. "Neville, you look absolutely...horrendous!"

Neville smiled sheepishly. "I know. I woke up a little late because I was too stupid to wake up when Harry told me to. I was wondering if you could help a little bit."

Draco, who had become somewhat friends with the Gryffindor, quickly got to work. He tried his best at getting his robes to look the best and his hair to stay down. A bit of magic had to be used. When he was done, Neville thanked the blonde then went to find Luna. Draco turned back to Harry. "Do I still look fine?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "No, you look absolutely horrible."

Draco gasped and produced himself a mirror to look at himself. He smoothed down his already flattened hair and brushed away some imaginary dirt that wasn't even there. Harry wrapped his arms around Draco's waist and rested his head on his shoulder as he whispered into Draco's ear. "Don't worry. You look absolutely perfect to me, and that's all that matters."

Draco sighed and looked at Harry through the mirror that was still there. "I wish that was true, but my father is already going to have a field day as it is. I haven't exactly been the perfect child for him this year."

Harry lightly kissed Draco's neck. He knew what Draco was talking about. When Lucius had found out that Draco had quit Quidditch, he had sent a howler to him, threatening to take him out of Hogwarts, not letting him graduate. Luckily, Snape was able to persuade him to choose not to. Then, when everyone found out about Draco being with Harry, Lucius found out soon enough. Another howler was sent, and Snape once again went to calm down the senior Malfoy. Meeting him face to face was going to be interesting, especially with Harry by his side, but he wasn't going to do it without his Gryffindor. And Harry wasn't going to let his Slytherin do it alone anyways.

"Seventh years, may I please have your attention." Dumbledore appeared at the front of the room. All of the students quieted down to listen to their headmaster. "The graduating ceremony will begin in only a few minutes time. Before we leave to go outside, I wish to say a few words. This class has been one of the most interesting ones by far. Many have done things that no other would do in their lifetime. For this I am pleased to have been your headmaster. Now, go graduate!"

Harry and Draco both rolled their eyes. Dumbledore had stayed out of their way more after Draco had told him off in the hospital wing, but he still managed to annoy the two. No one else seemed to notice how deceitful the man was, but no one else had anything to make the man even more famous.

Girls and boys lined up like they had rehearsed the night before. Harry had been placed with the other Gryffindors at the front while Draco was stuck in the back with the other Slytherins. Neither one was too pleased with the arrangement, but it was only going to be for a short time.

A little nervous, Harry led his class with Hermione on his right. He didn't particularly enjoy having to walk with the girl, but it was only for a few short seconds in the beginning and a few short seconds at the end. He could live with it. Draco however got stuck with Pansy Parkinson. After dating her for a short while then breaking up with her after he realized he liked guys more than girls, she still didn't really understand that the two would never get back together. He didn't care if it was only a few seconds. Being with the girl at all made Draco want to die.

Harry and Hermione slowly walked passed all of the proud parents and friends on either side of them. He kept a fake smile on his face as he listened to everyone whisper, 'There's Harry Potter! I can't believe it's already been seventeen years.' 'I remember the first time I met him at the Leaky Cauldron!' 'My daughter, graduating with the greatest man alive. Just think how lucky we are.' Harry wanted to stop and yell at all of them. Not a single person seemed to care about _him_. They all cared about his fame. He was relieved when they reached the chairs they were to sit in. Even luckier for him, Hermione was on the other side, completely far away from him, as was Ron. Instead he got to sit by Lavender Brown.

The ceremony started out with a welcoming speech from Dumbledore. Then, each Head of House said a few words. Finally, the Head Boy and Girl spoke, which ended up being a Ravenclaw and a Hufflepuff. Neither Harry nor Draco really listened to any of it. They were too worried about how Lucius was going to react when they saw him. Finally, the end came and each student was called up to receive their diplomas. Both Harry and Draco waited impatiently for their names to be called. They wanted everything to be done and over with.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy." Snape called out. Draco practically leapt from his seat. He made his way up, took his diploma, shook Snape's and Dumbledore's hands, then went back down to his seat before anyone could even take a good picture.

A few more names were called before McGonagall said. "Harry James Potter." Trying to stay as calm as possible, Harry went through the same actions as Draco. The moment he finished shaking Dumbledore's hand though, Dumbledore wouldn't let go, lightly pushed Harry to face the camera, and told him to smile good. Harry instead did the opposite. He glared at the man, pulled his hand out of the headmaster's grasp, and told him coldly. "If you want some publicity, get it yourself. I am not some simple way to get your face in a newspaper. I'd recommend shoving your head up your arse. You'd probably get a few articles and a picture or too. Maybe if you're lucky you'll find the off switch to your selfishness."

Dumbledore kept his smile up, but his eyes said something completely different. Harry ignored him and the flashes from the cameras as he sat back down. No one had heard him, except maybe McGonagall, but, when Harry looked at Draco quickly, he saw that the blonde had a smirk on his face. Harry wanted to laugh.

The rest of the ceremony went by smoothly. Nothing went wrong unless you counted Dumbledore's little try for fame. Shortly after all of the graduates walked back the way they had come, even more pictures were taken.

Harry and Draco were once again separated as the whole class picture was taken since their houses were on complete opposite sides. Then each house's picture was taken separately. Harry reluctantly stayed the whole time Gryffindor's pictures were taken. But then, as they departed and Hufflepuff got together, Draco pulled him away from the rest of his house and towards the Slytherins.

"Draco, what are you doing?" Harry asked as the Draco made him stand beside him and Blaise.

"I'm making sure you get a picture with your house. We can't have you missing it." Draco explained simply. "You were already in the wrong spot for the whole class picture. I don't need you messing it all up again."

Harry laughed and shook his head. "I guess I'm supposed to say I'm sorry?"

"No time now!" Draco exclaimed. "We have to smile!" Quickly the two faced the camera with the brightest smiles of anyone else. Both of them for

got about the encounter they would have in only a short time.

* * *

**A/N: Here's the eleventh chapter once again. I haven't really changed anything except for maybe a comma or two and Draco's middle name. But, I'm the type of person who likes everything the same throughout their story. It'd be sort of strange if I had his middle name as Scorpius in this chapter, but then Lucius in the next one. So I've fixed it. Thanks to everyone who's been reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter Twelve**

Once the picture was taken, the two boys chatted happily with the other Slytherins. None of them were disturbed by the fact that the two were together. Truthfully, the only reason they made fun of Harry before, was because Draco had done it. Everyone followed Draco Malfoy. The Malfoy's always ruled above the rest.

While in the middle of a memory relapse, someone yelled out loudly. "Draco Lucius Malfoy! Come here this instant!"

Draco cringed as his full name was called. He hated when that voice, the voice of his father, spoke it. It was never spoken by him in a nice way. He was always cold with it.

Both Draco and Harry turned around. The rest of the group scattered away. They knew that staying around wasn't a good idea when Lucius Malfoy was angry.

Lucius Malfoy and his wife, Narcissa, were walking towards the two. Narcissa had a bright smile on her face. Quickly, before Lucius could yell, she hugged the two tightly, whispering her congratulations. Harry and Draco whispered their thanks right back. The mother didn't seem to mind that Draco was with Harry either. In fact she thought it was quite delightful. She treated the teen like her own son, sometimes even better.

"Hello, Father." Draco bowed his head a little.

"Hello, Lucius." Harry copied Draco's action.

"What have you been thinking, Draco?" Lucius immediately exclaimed. "I'm wondering if I should take you in to St. Mungo's."

"Father, nothing is wrong in my head." Draco told him defiantly.

"Then why have you gone and quit Quidditch?" Lucius started to wave his hands around like a madman. "And _why_ do you seem to think that your preference is the _male_ gender?"

Draco glared at his father long and hard before he answered. "Quidditch isn't all that it seems to be, _Father_. Actually, it's much more fun to watch than to actually play, but you wouldn't know that _would _you?"

Lucius seemed to have become even angrier at his son. His pale face was starting to turn a light shade of pink. Harry thought he was starting to look a bit like Uncle Vernon when he got mad. "Now just because something isn't _fun_ doesn't mean you should stop. You'll come across many things that aren't _fun_ but you'll have to go through with them anyways. If you had continued, you could have had a chance at becoming a professional!"

Draco scoffed. "A professional Quidditch player? Father, that was _your_ dream as a kid. But since you hadn't even made the team, you put it in your mind that it was my dream. You don't even know what my likes or dislikes are, including my _preference_!" He yelled the last word loud enough to make almost everyone's head turn, not that most of them weren't turned already.

"Nobody in our family has ever been with someone other than a girl." Lucius said simply.

Draco raised his eyebrow, challengingly. "What about your two brothers? What about your _father_." Draco sneered at the last one.

Lucius's face quickly changed from a light pink to a deeper shade. His hands were clenched at his sides, but they were shaking immensely. "They are no longer a part of this family! Is that what you want?" Lucius yelled even louder than Draco had before.

Draco made himself look like he was thinking about it. He looked back and forth from his father to Lucius. Harry immediately got nervous. He never thought Draco would have to choose.

"Draco, go. Go with your father. You have so much more opportunity as a Malfoy. You'll be great. You'll be everything you've ever wanted." Harry coaxed Draco softly. He lightly touched the blonde's wrist before he dropped his own hand to his side.

Draco looked at Harry astonished. He never thought the Gryffindor would side with his father. Before, Harry had been happy whenever Draco told him that he'd always choose him over his powerful name. He didn't actually think that the boy would choose differently.

Quickly he thought over every possibility between the two. His back and forth looking quickened its pace. Now he was seriously starting to second guess. But then, his mother walked over to him and took his hand. She looked fiercely into her husband's eyes and spoke. "Lucius, if you make our son choose between love and power, then I'm leaving you. I've already stayed with you when you abandoned your brothers, even when you abandoned your own father. But I've had enough. Our own _son_? This is going too far."

Lucius looked at his wife almost like he was scared. The man loved her with all of his heart. Everyone knew that. If something happened to her, he was always by her side. He never thought of the possibility that she'd leave him. "Narcissa." He spoke softly.

"I'm not joking about this Lucius. You treat people badly, I know that. But, treating your own son like this is going too far!"

This time it was Lucius who looked back and forth between his son and his wife. He really loved Draco too. He had always been the person Lucius could never be. Back during his school years, he was really a weakling who got through his years by his name. Draco actually was a strong person. People feared him for more reasons than just his name.

"I...I..." Lucius stuttered. "I can't let you both go." He finally whispered.

Harry, Draco, and Narcissa all smiled happily. Everything was perfect again. Lucius walked closer to the three and hugged Draco and Narcissa tightly. Harry stood back and watched, still smiling brightly. But then Lucius looked at the boy and held out a hand. "You're part of the family now, Harry. You might as well join."

Harry walked slowly closer to the huddled group until Lucius grabbed his arm and pulled him all the way. His face got pressed into Draco's hair. Before they let go, he took in a deep breath of the wonderful smell the blonde locks gave off. He could never get enough of it.

But, the moment they all let go, Draco touched his hair and his eyes got wide. Quickly he ran towards the castle, his hands frantically trying to fix his hardly ruined hair. Lucius, Narcissa, and Harry all looked at each other and laughed.

"I don't think I've ever seen someone fret about their hair more than that boy." Lucius shook his head with a playful smile on his face.

"Oh don't worry. He's even worse after we've snogged for a bit." Harry laughed again, but then a look of horror crossed his face after he realized what he'd just said.

Lucius looked at him with a slight glare at first, but then he started to laugh again, as did Narcissa. Soon enough Harry's little comment got around the whole crowd and everyone was dying of laughter.

When Draco came back, hair perfect once again, he found almost everyone practically running out of air from laughing so much. His face became confused. "Harry, what's so funny?"

Harry looked up at him from where he had fallen on the ground. "I'd rather not say."

Out of everyone that had been to the graduation, only Draco turned out to be pissed in the end.

* * *

**A/N: Here's the twelfth chapter! I know I'm posting it just a tad bit early...okay a few hours early, but I won't be able to do it at any other time. Also, I won't be able to add another chapter tomorrow either. I am going on a trip for two days. The next chapter will be up either Wednesday or Thursday. I'm not sure because I'm not positive about what time I'll get back. Also, a special thanks to Tintenkatze for giving me Draco's middle name. It has been changed in this chapter as well as chapter eleven. Finally, as always, thank you to everyone who continues to read this story!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter Thirteen**

Life was perfect for Harry. The moment they left Hogwarts for good, he started searching for a place to live. He knew he wasn't going back to the Dursley's ever again. Only days later, he found himself a nice apartment in Diagon Alley. Draco and him had decorated it to make it perfect for the raven haired teen. The kitchen was stocked with every type of food imaginable. The living room had a nice large fireplace, with leather chairs seated around it. A few pictures were hung up, including the one of Harry and the Slytherin house. The bedroom was a comfortable size and had a nice queen sized bed. Draco made sure the whole place was covered in greens, silvers, and blacks. The only thing that had anything close to being Gryffindor colors was the bathroom. The walls were painted a dark red, almost crimson, but you could tell the color was different compared to Gryffindor's red.

Draco's life was almost perfect. He was with Harry almost every day. Both Narcissa and Lucius had asked him why he didn't just move in with Harry, but Draco explained that it wasn't exactly time yet. He knew if he stayed there, he'd notice things. He was already noticing most of them. Every time he was over there, he'd first go and get something for them to eat and drink. Nothing was ever in a different spot, and half of the things weren't even opened yet. Of course the things that would spoil easily were replaced, but Draco wondered if Harry just threw them away and bought more to keep it looking full. Every time he went to the bathroom, he found a blade or two hidden away. But, what Draco noticed the most was how Harry was starting to look. The muscle he had built during his Quidditch years was completely gone. Dark bags were forming under his eyes like he had never slept. Even worse, any place of Harry's body that Draco touched, a bone was always felt. Things were getting bad, and Draco needed to do something.

"Harry, can we talk?" Draco looked at Harry, concerned. They had been sitting on one of the leather chairs, Harry sitting on Draco's lap, and were staring into the fire silently.

"What is it, Draco?" Harry asked, looking back at him. His face grew a little worried when he saw Draco's expression.

"I want you to tell me about a usual day for you." Draco told him.

"Well, I wake up around seven-thirty and go to the bathroom to get ready. Then, I usually go walk around outside at eight, looking in bookstores, buying new potion supplies, just doing my daily errands I guess. When I get back, it's usually one or two, so I busy myself by reading a new book I've bought or making a potion or two. Then you usually come around five. You know the rest." Harry kissed me on the lips like he was reminding me.

"So, when do you eat?" Draco asked. This time he was a little more cautious.

Harry stood up quickly and glared at Draco. "You're still on this, Draco? I've told you before that I eat. Every time you're here, you see me eat!" He exclaimed. "What do you want me to do? Should I shove food in my mouth every minute? Will you be happy then?"

Draco was surprised at the boy's outburst. They've always gotten in small arguments before, but they were minor little things. Never had Harry yelled at him so angrily before. Slowly he stood up and took both of Harry's hands. Then he rolled up his sleeves, revealing his cuts. Harry looked away like he was ashamed to look at Draco.

"Harry, I know you do this." Draco told him as he took Harry's chin to make him look at him. "And, it also looks like you're getting better. There aren't as many here as usual. I'm proud of you." Draco smiled at the boy and hugged him tightly. But, Harry was quick enough to push himself out of the blonde's grasp.

"How can you be proud?" Harry asked. "All I am is trouble for you. How could you really want someone who has so many problems?"

Draco shook his head. "The only problem you have is eating, and I want to help you with it, Harry."

"I told you already!" Harry exclaimed. "I eat! That isn't a problem of mine."

"Then what are your problems, Harry?" Draco asked.

Harry turned his head away again. He looked at the ground silently, not wanting to ever reveal them.

"Harry, I can't help you if you don't tell me." Draco took Harry's hands once again and put them to his face. Harry turned back to look at him the moment Draco started to kiss them. Then, he slowly pulled them away.

"I'm no good for you, Draco." Harry said then ran back into his room. He closed and locked the door before he fell against it, slid to the ground, and started to cry. Draco chased him, but was too late. The spells Harry had on the door were too powerful for even Draco to break. Draco sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall next to the door.

"Harry, you're perfect for me." Draco tried to talk to him. "You're everything I've ever wanted in a person. You're smart, funny, brave, loving, and handsome. I could never forget handsome."

Draco heard Harry do something like a laugh before he spoke back. "I guess my mask has been working then. I even have you fooled, Draco."

"Harry, what are you talking about?" Draco asked, now confused.

"Sure, you tell me that I'm perfect, but I'm far from the word. Disastrous would be more appropriate. My cutting? That's only part of what's wrong with me. You don't know the things that I've done. I'm a stupid Gryffindor who shouldn't be with such an honorable Slytherin like you. I'm worthless." Draco could hear Harry sniffle a little bit.

"Harry, I don't care what you do, what you did. I care for you, Harry. You're perfect to me, Harry, because I love you, not because I can't see under some _mask_." Draco put his hand to the door, palm touching the wood.

Harry immediately stopped crying and turned so he could face the door. He slowly stood up and put his hand on the doorknob, wondering if he should open it. "You...you _love_ me?" He asked softly, but Draco heard him and smiled.

"I knew I liked you before, but, now, you've made me realize that I really love you. I really do. I, Draco Lucius Malfoy, love you, Harry James Potter."

Harry closed his eyes as he listened to Draco's words. Then, he let down his wards and opened the door, only to be quickly hugged tightly by Draco. Harry returned the hug, new tears of joy replacing the ones he had just shed.

"Harry, I'm never going to leave you. I'll die before I have to." Draco whispered in his Gryffindor's ear.

"Please don't. I need you now. I'll tell you everything; just repeat what you told me before." Harry looked into Draco's grey eyes. If you got close enough, you could notice that they weren't cold and empty. They held enough feeling and love to pass around a country.

"I love you." Draco told him before he kissed him like he had been starving.

* * *

**A/N: Here's the thirteenth chapter, just like I promised! Hope you all like it, especially since you've been waiting a few days for it. As always, thanks for reading!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter Fourteen**

Harry and Draco sat on the edge of Harry's bed. Draco wanted them to sit closer together, but Harry wouldn't allow it. He wanted space between them. If they were close, Harry would be able to feel the cold air surround him if Draco left. He didn't want to feel even worse if that moment came.

"I've never been the perfect Boy-Who-Lived that everyone thought me to be." Harry started out. He kept his head down, looking at his hands that were sitting in his lap. "That boy left after our third year." Harry paused like he was waiting for a reaction, but Draco stayed silent, waiting for him to continue. "I think everything started because I was finally fed up with everything. My friends weren't really there for me, unless it involved some sort of publicity. Dumbledore was the same way. Sirius had told me I could stay with him, but I was only left with the Dursleys in the end. Nothing was going the way I wanted. For some reason, I felt like a failure." Harry put his head in his hands.

Draco placed a hand on his back, and rubbed it lightly. "You're not a failure." Harry moved to give Draco the hint that he didn't want him to touch his back. Draco took back his hand.

"I stayed in my room all day, for my first few days of the summer. The Dursleys didn't mind. I was out of their lives except for when they fed me three times a day. That was when I got my first taste of drugs." Harry explained. "They were just simple muggle pills that anyone could get, but Dudley had ground up and mixed in enough of them in my food to give me some kind of effect. I liked the feeling immediately. I was so calm and peaceful, not caring about anything happening around me." Harry looked up at nothing in particular with a small smile on his lips. When he noticed what he was doing though, his face quickly grew horrified.

"Harry." Draco tried talking to him again. "It isn't wrong for you to like the feeling. Sometimes, things like that can't be helped."

Harry shook his head at him. "No, it _is _wrong. It makes me seem pathetic. Even worse, when I started to become immune to the pills, I went off in search of stronger ones. Before summer ended, I was buying at least three bottles and week and had switched the type of pills four times."

"But, you quit after you went to Hogwarts, right?" Draco asked, trying to make the teen feel better. "You couldn't have kept your addiction going."

"I tried." Harry told him with a strained voice. "I really tried, but it was taking too much of a toll on me, especially since I was in the triwizard tournament. I started to depend on potions. Four nourishing potions made me go numb. Six of them made me think I could do anything. They helped me get through all of my tasks. Five truth potions make you tell only lies; you just can't help it. Give yourself four hangover helping potions and you get one of the best feelings in a lifetime. If I hadn't become immune to that too, I probably would still be chugging the things nonstop."

"But you stopped that too." Draco said. "Having the strength to do that is great!"

Harry looked at Draco with a serious face. "I didn't stop because I could, I stopped because I had to. Making potions was impossible for me to do at the Dursleys. I tried starting up muggle medication again, but it wasn't any good. My cravings got worse and worse as time went on and soon enough I was having withdrawal symptoms. At one point in time, I took a walk outside to try and feel better, but I ended up passing out in an alley. When I woke up, I was in an unfamiliar room, lying on a couch, with a major headache. Sitting beside me was a girl who looked only a few years older than me. Her name was Heather, and she was the worst influence of my life.

"It started off with just some basic cigarettes to get my mind off things." Harry told Draco. He started to wring his hands. "As time went on though, I was using anything I could get a hold of, weed, coke, meth, LSD. I don't think there was a time that summer where I wasn't high or tripping."

"But, didn't you leave the Dursleys early that summer?" Draco asked. "Didn't you break the underage law?"

By now, Harry was wringing his hands out like crazy. "Yes, I did." Harry whispered. "I had met Dudley on the street and thought it funny to joke about him. I was extremely high at the time, and anything seemed like a good idea. But then, all of a sudden, I felt the air around us go cold, similar to when a dementor is near. Panicking, I took my wand out and cast a patronus at what looked like a dementor."

"But you were protecting yourself and Dudley." Draco said. "What you did was right."

Harry shook his head. "There never was a dementor. What I thought was a dementor was only a hallucination. The coldness had been the wind. I really had broken the law, but Dumbledore lied at my trial to save me."

"He wanted to keep you so you could help him." Draco said softly.

Harry didn't say anything. He only looked at the blonde, but his green eyes told Draco that he was correct. "During our fifth year, I couldn't get my muggle drugs. Simple potions didn't work either, so I went to desperate means. I used wizard drugs."

Draco looked at Harry, shocked. Wizard drugs were powerful, no matter who the user was. No one was known to have stopped. Using them even once, cursed you for the rest of your life.

"If you remember, I created the DA that year. Everyone thought it was my way of getting back at Umbridge, but, really it was just a cover-up." Harry explained. "People thought that when I left places early, or came back late, I was getting ready for a DA meeting. Truthfully, I was down in Hogsmede buying powdered dragon scales infused with unicorn's blood." Harry's head went back into his hands. "I'm so horrible!" He mumbled.

Draco put a hand on Harry's knee and gripped it tightly. "You are not horrible, Harry. You accidentally went down the wrong path. People do that all the time."

Harry looked up at the Slytherin with tear filled eyes. "People snort dragon scales with unicorn's blood all the time?" Draco didn't answer that. The tears escaped Harry's eyes and rolled down his cheeks. Draco wanted to wipe them away, but he didn't know if Harry would allow him to. It pained him to see his Gryffindor so vulnerable.

"Draco." Harry finally spoke. "Why can't I get better? I do one bad thing, and it leads to a whole mess of more bad things."

"You will get better, Harry." Draco assured him. "And I'll always stay by your side."

Harry looked at Draco silently like he was trying to see if the boy was lying. "Do you promise?" He finally asked.

Draco smiled and hugged his Gryffindor tightly. He was glad that the teen never tried to pull away. "I promise, Harry."

* * *

**A/N: I know this is late, and I'm very sorry, but I've been sick again. This time I had no strength to do anything at all. I also know that Harry didn't finish telling Draco about all of his school years. I will probably have that in the next chapter. Finally, as always, thank you for reading!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter Fifteen**

"Draco, wake up." Harry whispered to the blonde who was sleeping next to him. It had been two months since Harry had told Draco most of his past. Just the day before, Draco had finally decided to move in with his Gryffindor. At the moment, he had his arms holding the raven haired boy tightly against his bare chest. "Draco, I want to talk to you."

"It's early." The blonde mumbled, keeping his eyes closed. "We can talk later."

"I think I'm ready to tell you the rest." Harry said.

This got Draco to open his eyes and look at Harry's emerald ones. "Are you sure?"

Harry unhooked himself from Draco's arms and sat up properly. He looked down at the bare chested Draco, memorizing every inch of him. He didn't want to forget the one perfect part of his life if Draco ever did decide to leave him. "Yes. I'm ready to finish it."

Draco sat up as well and took both of Harry's hands, holding them tightly.

Harry took a deep breath before he continued. "Snorting the dragon scales and unicorn blood was making life go perfectly again until I started having these weird dreams. After one of them, I was able to save Ron's father, but that had only been barely. Then, I started to realize that more than half of them weren't making any sense. Later on, I figured out that the drugs I was doing were screwing them all up. That's how my godfather ended up dying. The only things I saw in the dream were Sirius unconscious and the door to the Department of Mysteries. Now, when I think back to that dream, I remember seeing Sirius, but he was sleeping in a bed. The door had been in a completely different dream, but I had added it to the one I had been having, making me think something was wrong.

"During the summer, I couldn't stop thinking about what I had done. I had been the one to cause Sirius's death. I couldn't help but become depressed. Living with the Dursley's didn't help at all so I moved in with Heather. I didn't do anymore hard drugs and I stopped snorting the wizard drug as well. Withdrawal symptoms I'd never had before consumed me. Most of the time I found myself passed out on Heather's couch. Heather got annoyed that I was never awake to help her sell drugs so she kicked me out. I was left on the streets until the school year. It was probably the worst time of my life. Not once did I use any drug, but I was so close to death half the time that I went to desperate measures. I went to the wizarding black market."

"Even my father has never been there." Draco told me. There was fear in his eyes.

"There I bought a wand that hadn't been licensed from this man from India. I also met a few people who offered to let me stay with them. Most of them are very hospitable. I decided to stay with this old woman who looked the most trustworthy. She helped me get back to my normal self, and taught me a few tricks she had learned during her lifetime. In return I helped her sell things and did anything she asked. It was the least I could do. When I was finally cured completely, I went back to the Dursleys only a few days before I'd have to leave for school. Apparently, Dumbledore hadn't known where I was because he sent my school letter to them. I stayed with my aunt, uncle, and cousin for the remainder of the summer."

"I'm sorry about that year." Draco said as he pushed aside a strand of hair that had fell in front of Harry's eye. Then he gave him a light kiss on the forehead. "I was beyond horrible to you."

Harry smiled and placed his palm against Draco's cheek. "That's in the past now. I've long forgiven you for that."

Draco nodded, took the hand that was against his cheek, and kissed its fingers.

Harry shivered at the action, but then went back to his story, letting Draco keep kissing his hand. "After my stay in the black market, I learned to stay away from drugs. Everyone was still trying to get publicity through me. I was getting more annoyed by the second. At one point, I couldn't take it anymore so I skipped classes and headed to Hogsmede. I spent all day at a bar even less known than the Hogs Head. There I just drank. It started with pumpkin juice, then went to firewhiskey, but in the end I caved and took to the hard liquor. I wasn't caring anymore."

"But, when did you start cutting?" Draco stopped kissing the boy's hand to ask. He was always curious about the answer.

"It was only weeks after that first day I cut classes." For some reason, Harry laughed. "For my whole life, I've always hated the scar that Voldemort gave me. Now that I think about it, it's a little ironic that I end up scarring myself."

Draco didn't comment on what Harry said. Instead he went ahead and asked another question, this time a little more cautiously. "When did you stop eating?"

Harry looked at Draco with his emerald eyes wide and full of tears. This was the one thing he was hoping he'd never have to answer.

* * *

**A/N: After reading this one over, I've decided that this is probably one of the worst chapters of this story. I tried my best, but I just couldn't figure out any other way to reveal the rest of Harry's past. Knowing me I was probably just thinking about it too hard. But I can't keep complaining about that because I still have to thank you for ignoring the fact that it sucked and for reading it. Thanks!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter Sixteen**

Harry wasn't answering Draco. He was just staring at him with his tear-filled eyes. Draco tried to get him to speak by kissing the teen's fingers again, but this time Harry pulled his hand away. Draco looked at him with sadness on his face.

"Draco, please don't ask me that." Harry told him. "I really don't want to tell you the answer. You'll hate it."

"I'm here with an open mind, Harry." Draco replied. "Anything you say won't make me leave."

A smile formed on Harry's lips. "I know, but it doesn't mean you'll forget my answer."

"Harry, I'm not sure I understand you."

"It was for you, Draco." Harry said. "I stopped for you." Draco didn't know how to answer so Harry continued. "At first I just didn't go eat when I was with you. That's why I always wanted to skip eating. I wanted more time with you. Afterwards though, things started to change. I just couldn't force myself to eat."

"Harry, you looked fine." Draco told him and caressed his sunken in cheek.

"No, I didn't eat because I thought I didn't look good enough for you. Yes, you look perfect while I have this ugly scar on my forehead, but that wasn't it. Food just looked revolting. I felt like I'd get sick if any of it touched my tongue. I really didn't know what was wrong with me."

"As time went on, it just got worse, didn't it?" Draco asked.

Harry nodded. "It's just something I couldn't stop or control. I know that I look horrible. It looks like I'm on my deathbed. This is why I've hated myself so much lately." Harry told him. "I bet if I was eating regularly, I would have quit cutting myself before we graduated."

Draco couldn't help himself, he hugged Harry tightly. Harry tried to push him away, but he was too weak. Draco didn't even notice the attempt.

"Draco...Draco...I...can't...breathe..." Harry was able to choke out. This Draco did hear and immediately let go.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I'm really sorry." He said as he checked over the fragile boy. "I'm going to help you get better, no matter what it takes."

Harry smiled, but it wasn't very happy. "I'm thankful, Draco. I really am, but what if nothing works? What if I'll never get better?"

Draco looked at his Gryffindor sternly. "Something will work, and you will get better. If I can't promise you anything else, I will always promise you that."

Harry was too happy to respond. All he could do was smile the best he could.

***

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Draco asked Harry for what seemed to be the millionth time.

Harry held Draco's hand tightly and nodded as they walked down the hallway of a muggle hospital. Draco wasn't sure if he trusted the place, but there wasn't any ward at St. Mungo's for any of Harry's problems. "We've already tried to help me by ourselves, and you can't tell me that it's working because I'm practically getting worse. I need to get better, Draco, and this is the only way."

Draco stopped them from walking and turned Harry to face him. Harry seemed confused, but Draco didn't explain. Instead he just pressed his lips against Harry's. Harry's gasped, giving Draco's tongue perfect entrance. Quickly, the blonde pulled his Gryffindor into a small corner. He kissed every inch of Harry's body that he could reach while standing in the tight space. Harry had to bite down on Draco's shoulder to muffle his moans. Draco didn't notice the pain.

"D-Draco." Harry was finally able to stutter out. "I-I'm going to b-be late."

Draco brushed his lips against Harry's own for a final time before he took the raven haired boy's hand again and walked down the hall like nothing had even happened. Harry just laughed when they walked through the door to his new home. Draco held a smile that became overly forced the moment the ceramic tiles of the hallway turned to the carpet of the room he already hated.

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry that it's been so long since I've updated. I feel really bad, especially since I've only come up with this short chapter. I promise to you that I will try my hardest to make the next chapter ten times better! I thank everyone who has kept reading this, even when I'm a little late.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter Seventeen**

"Hello! My name is Rachel." A peppy looking brunette smiled and held out her hand. "I'll be one of the nurses helping you through your journey."

Harry smiled politely to her and shook her hand. "I'm Harry Potter, and this is Draco Malfoy."

Draco shook Rachel's hand as well, but it was more reluctantly.

"It's always good for patients to have supportive friends." The girl's peppiness was starting to really get on Draco's nerves.

"Oh, he's not just my friend. He's my boyfriend." Harry corrected her. "He's been doing his best at trying to help me get better. I guess I'm just stubborn." Harry laughed, but neither Rachel nor Draco joined in.

"Let me show you around." Rachel changed the subject. She started walking down a hallway and Harry and Draco followed closely behind. Almost suddenly, she stopped at a room with only a dresser, single bed, beside table, desk, and chair. "This will be your room. You're lucky because this is the last single room we have. If you had come later, you'd probably have a roommate. Tyler will drop off your suitcase here when they're done checking it."

"Why do they need to check luggage?" Draco asked.

Rachel looked at him and replied. "There are some things that patients try to smuggle in. Some are obsessive with working out, or they use diet pills. We can never be too safe." She gave another smile and headed farther down the hall.

The next door they stopped at was closed, but a window showed a group of people sitting in a circle. "This is group therapy. Later today, you'll talk with Dr. Femmingway and he'll decide how many times you'll see him and when you can start group therapy. Everybody seems to love him. It seems like less and less patients are coming back again too."

"That makes this place sound better by the second." Harry spoke. Rachel smiled to him and Harry smiled back. Even Draco liked the sound of that.

The three again walked down the hall, passing multiple rooms until the very last door on the right. Exercise equipment was inside. Only two bikes and a treadmill were being used. Another nurse was standing in a corner, watching over them. "You won't be allowed in here until Dr. Femmingway decides its okay. Even then, you probably won't be allowed much time in there. We can't have you backtracking."

"Would it be possible that I don't work out at all?" Harry asked. Rachel looked at him surprised. Draco smirked. He knew the boy hated exercise. The only workout Harry did was making out with him. "I just don't want any possible way to get worse again. I know you'll watch everything I do, but I still don't want to take chances."

Rachel looked at the teen, a little surprised, but put on her usual smile. "I'll see what I can do. Maybe you could spend some extra time in the art room behind us." Rachel turned around and walked towards the door on the left of the hall. Draco and Harry followed and looked into the glass to see a few people painting, beading, and using clay.

Harry nodded and smiled as Rachel continued the tour by leading them through the double doors that were at the end of the hallway. Beyond them was a large cafeteria. No one except for a janitor was in there at the moment, but by the look of it, plenty of patients could be there at once.

"As you can see, this is where you will eat your breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You will also have snacks throughout the day, but these you can have anywhere except your room." Rachel explained. "After your meeting with Dr. Femmingway, you'll meet with our nutritionist, Jenny. She'll help you put together a selection of foods you could eat. There are enough options that you shouldn't have the same things too often."

Harry kept up his smile, but Draco couldn't keep up his fake smile any longer. A large frown covered his face as he looked at his Gryffindor. Harry noticed this right away. "Draco, what's wrong?"

Rachel turned to look at Draco too. She knew why he wasn't happy, but she didn't want to interfere. "I'm going to check and see if all of your paperwork is finalized. You two can wait here." Then, she left quietly.

"Draco, I'm not going to be here forever." Harry told him, taking the blonde's hand. "Anyways, this is what I need. We both know it."

Draco nodded. "I know it, but I don't want it. It may not be forever, but it's still going to seem that way. What am I supposed to do at home?"

Harry laughed. "Is that what you're worried about?"

Draco kissed Harry lightly, but passionately. Their tongues danced for awhile before Draco broke them apart. "No, I'm worried that I'm not going to be able to survive without doing that for so long."

Harry placed a hand on Draco's cheek and looked deep into his eyes. "I promise to make up for it when I'm able to come back."

This brought a small smile to Draco's lips which he used to kiss Harry's forehead lightly.

Rachel then walked into the room. "Everything is set. Now, if you'll follow me back to the front room where you can say your goodbyes."

Silently the three walked back to the front room. Another nurse was talking on a phone behind the front desk. Two teenage girls were playing a game of cards in a nearby sitting area complete with a television, and shelves of movies, books, and games.

"I guess I'll see you when you're able to come home." Draco spoke slowly. He was trying his best to keep his tears from falling. He noticed that Harry was doing the same.

"Yes." It was the only word Harry could say.

"Don't you know that he will be able to visit when Dr. Femmingway allows it?" Rachel interrupted.

Harry and Draco turned to the woman. "Yes, we do know that, but we've also decided that it wouldn't be good for me." Harry replied to her.

Rachel looked surprised again. She probably hadn't ever met such a 'different' patient. Draco and Harry turned back to each other.

"I'm going to miss you. Never forget that." Draco told Harry before pulling him into a hug. The two stayed that way for a few seconds before Harry was the one to pull away. He had a small smile on his face. Draco knew he was still trying not to cry.

Finally, Draco walked out of the room and walked down the empty hallway. His feet echoed as they hit the ceramic tiles once again. He never looked back until he reached the elevator at the end of the hallway. Only after he hit the button to go down, he turned and saw Harry looking right back at him. Neither of them looked away until the elevator doors opened and Draco stepped inside, letting the metal doors separate them for a time that was already starting to feel like an eternity.

* * *

**A/N: There's the seventeenth chapter. It's a little bit longer, and the update was a lot sooner than the last one! Thank you to everyone who has kept reading it.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter Eighteen**

It had already been a week and Draco was suffering immensely. He couldn't sleep at all. Dark bags under his eyes contrasted with his slightly pale skin. He didn't have the energy to use magic of any sort. His hair was ten times worse than Harry's own messy hair, and his chin had a very noticeable amount of stubble. The apartment was already a mess of dirty dishes, empty firewhiskey bottles, and rotting food. Draco didn't notice any of it.

The only thing that Draco did notice was the pecking the owls made on the window when they had mail, but he only answered it because the pecking got on his nerves, which were being stressed by an owl that was currently pecking wildly.

"Why don't you just go away?" Draco grumbled as he opened the window and took the letter that was attached to the bird's foot. Instantly, the bird flew away, leaving Draco in peace once again.

Draco opened the letter as he walked back to the chair he had been sitting on. He took a swig from the half empty bottle of firewhiskey he had on a side table then started to read what was written on the piece of parchment.

_Draco,_

_Your father and I haven't heard from you since Harry left to get help. We are both very worried. Please come visit us in the next few days. You can't keep yourself isolated from the rest of society until Harry comes back. It'll ruin you, and I know Harry would be devastated if he ever found out. If you don't come though, your father has personally decided to come to the apartment, and it won't be a very happy visit. You know how he is._

_Love you dearly,_

_Mother_

Once Draco finished reading it, he crumpled it into a ball and threw it into the empty fireplace. Grumbling, he drank the rest of his firewhiskey, stood up, went to his room, and packed a few of his clothes. Then, he left the apartment, never bothering to look at a mirror, and apparated to his family's manor.

***

Harry was having a good time at the hospital, but it was hard. Dr. Femmingway immediately had him in group therapy and decided to meet with him three times a week. Jenny made sure he was eating plenty of foods. Harry accepted it all gratefully, but it was hard.

The first time he took a bite of food, he had accidentally thrown it up instantly. Harry apologized immensely to the nurse who was watching him. Harry tried to eat another piece and this time it went down. He grinned. The nurse looked at him like he didn't belong.

Once in awhile, people would look at him differently. Other times he'd catch a snippet of a conversation between the nurses. Almost always it was about him and how they thought he didn't really have an eating disorder. Dr. Femmingway was the only person Harry believed could help him. Everyone else seemed to be deserting him, even Rachel the peppy nurse.

"How are you doing, Harry?" Dr. Femmingway asked like he did everyday Harry came in.

Harry sat down on the right side of the couch, took off his shoes, and laid his feet across the rest of the couch like he did at every session. "Things are getting better." Harry replied. "I haven't puked all day!"

Dr. Femmingway smiled and scribbled on the pad of paper he had in his hand. "That's really good, Harry. So, what's on your mind today?"

Harry knew every question and the order Dr. Femmingway asked them in by heart. It had only been a week, and he had only been to two sessions, but he knew it. "Well, I'm wondering how Draco's doing. I want to send him a letter, and I know I can, but I promised myself I wouldn't. Somehow I know that I wouldn't progress as easily if I did."

"Was Draco the reason you stopped eating?" Dr. Femmingway asked then scribbled some more on his pad.

Harry smiled. This wasn't one of the usual questions, but he had been waiting for the doctor to ask it the moment he met the man. "Partially." Harry explained. "At first I'd only skip meals to be with him. It was nothing out of the ordinary because Draco was doing it as well. But then, when I would sit down to eat, the food didn't look appetizing. At first I thought it was just some bug. When I'm sick, the sight of food makes me gag. But, as time went on I knew I was sick, just not with the simple flu."

"So, you noticed that your looks were changing and that you were getting weaker." Femmingway looked at Harry. Harry nodded and the doctor wrote down some more things.

"I tried to force myself to eat, but I couldn't. Then, when I explained to Draco about my problem, he tried helping me to. Still nothing was working, but somehow I was able to finally stop cutting. That's how I ended up here." Harry finished.

"You never told me that you've cut yourself before." Dr. Femmingway said.

Harry simply nodded. "I started a few weeks into school when I was sixteen. At first the cuts were deep. I couldn't take anymore pain from remembering my godfather's death. After awhile I got better and by the next school year I was only cutting when I was either annoyed or angry. But, after a little incident in class one day, I was practically itching to cut my skin. Right before I reached the usual room I used to hide away, I literally ran into Draco." Harry laughed a little as he remembered the time. "Draco and I were still enemies at that time, but both of us weren't as bad to each other as we had been our first year together. After we went our separate ways, I went to cut. I bled out to much and passed out as I walked down some stairs. Draco had been the one to find me and stayed with me every night in our school's infirmary."

When Harry finished, he saw that Dr. Femmingway was quickly writing down as much as he could. Harry wanted to laugh at how concentrated the man looked. His face resembled one that you would usually see on someone who was constipated. "Are you alright, Doctor?" Harry decided to ask.

Femmingway paused to look at Harry. "Well, usually patients don't tend to say so much in one sitting. You however are a very open patient."

"I think it's because I've already been not so willing when Draco asked. Somehow I feel it's simpler to repeat it." Harry told him. "Doctor Femmingway, may I ask you a question?"

Femmingway looked surprised but he smiled and nodded. "Go ahead. I'll see if I have the answer."

"I'm just wondering if I really should be here. Everyone else here seems to think that I don't have an eating disorder, even the nurses. I almost want to say that they think I'm faking everything."

Dr. Femmingway shook his head. "You should be here, and I'm glad you did. Of course, you are different than most that come here. Usually, they don't seem to be happy during their first week here. You, however, have such a positive attitude that everyone is unsure about you."

"People don't like me because I'm acting differently than they think I should?" Harry asked.

Femmingway smiled. "Precisely."

Harry rolled his eyes in disgust. Everything was starting to remind him of his years at Hogwarts.

* * *

**A/N: I have changed the ending a little bit because of some new knowledge. As always, thank you for reading!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter Nineteen**

"Draco! We're so happy you came!" Narcissa immediately hugged her son tightly the moment she found out it was him who rang the doorbell.

Draco stood there stiffly, allowing her to hug him. Usually he would return the gesture gladly, but now he wasn't in the mood for happy things. The last hug he had wasn't a happy one, and this one only reminded him of it.

"Come in." Draco's mother motioned him in. She took the bag from his hand and set it on top of a small table next to the door. Then she led him through the first door on their left.

It was the family's sitting room. Of course the manor had three separate sitting rooms, one for each floor, but the other two were rarely used. Lucius was calmly sitting in his usual armchair staring at the room's large fireplace that was constantly lit.

"Look who's here already, Lucius!" Narcissa exclaimed.

Lucius looked away from the fire and turned to his wife and son. "Hello, Draco. It's nice to see you again."

"And you, Father." Draco replied and curtly nodded his head.

"Sit! Sit!" Narcissa told her son and pushed him to a chair near Lucius. Then she left the two of them alone.

Draco sat. He didn't really notice what he was doing. He was only doing what was told of him with the amount of politeness he had been taught. His father though noticed everything that his son was doing.

"Draco, stop this depression right this instant." His father ordered him.

Draco slowly turned his head to look at Lucius with his blank face. "I am not depressed, Father." He said with a rather sullen voice. "I am merely waiting for Harry to come back home."

"You do not have to wait for him in this kind of state. If Harry found out, I could bet you that he wouldn't be very pleased."

Draco shrugged. "It's the only way I can be. Nothing else can make me happy until he returns."

"Meet up with some of your school friends. Blaise is probably worried that he hasn't heard from you." Lucius told him.

"He is perfectly fine." Draco replied. "Haven't you heard? He and Pansy just recently became engaged. They're having the wedding next summer in June I believe."

"You've been keeping in touch with your friends?"

Draco laughed, but it was empty of feeling. "They send me letters telling me what they are doing. I don't feel the need to reply. There's nothing I can tell them, and I cannot explain to them about Harry unless he tells me it is okay."

Lucius glared at his child. The boy was so stubborn and stupid. If he could just see the mess he was creating in himself, maybe he'd take the initiative to fix a bit of it. Lucius knew Harry wouldn't like the way Draco was acting, but no one could write a letter to the boy. Everyone knew sending such a letter would only make the teen worse.

"Draco, put some emotion in yourself." Lucius told his son. "It's sickening and childish to see a Malfoy act this way. You're pathetic." Fury flashed in Draco's eyes for a split second. Lucius noticed and knew he was getting somewhere so he continued. "Everything you're doing is making our name look bad. Malfoy's control other people. Our name has meaning in the wizarding world. You are putting it to shame."

This time, Draco was openly glaring at his father. "How?" He growled.

"You publicly display your unhappiness. Malfoy's are never unhappy. They can _be_ unhappy, yes, but they _show_ it through anger, not through vulnerability."

Draco stood and walked up to his still sitting father. He glared down at him and asked. "Like this?" All of the sudden, his fist connected with Lucius's jaw. There was a sound of glass shattering as Narcissa walked into the room and dropped the tray of full wine glasses that she had been carrying. Draco went to take another swing, but this time Lucius was prepared. He grabbed the fist headed towards him, stood up, and slightly twisted Draco's hand so it would emit pain up his arm. Lucius knew Draco could feel the pain, but he didn't quit twisting until the boy winced and collapsed to the ground in defeat.

"Lucius!" Narcissa gasped the moment Draco hit the ground. She left the broken glass on the floor and went to help her child, but Lucius held her back.

"No, let him recover by himself." Lucius told her softly.

The two watched as Draco slowly brought himself to his hands and knees. He stayed frozen that way for a few moments before he started to shudder uncontrollably. Soon, the familiar sound of sobbing filled the quiet room. Draco looked up at his parents, tears streaming down his face.

"I want him. I need him. His absence is killing me!" Draco finally confessed. His parents looked down at him with sympathetic expressions. They couldn't bear to have their son so hurt.

Lucius helped the blonde up and brought him into a hug which Narcissa soon joined. When they broke apart, Lucius held Draco by his shoulders, forcing the boy to look at him. "All three of us are going to visit him."

Draco shook his head violently. "No. Harry and I agreed that visiting him would only slow down his process of getting better."

Lucius slapped his son and glared at him. "Are you foolish, boy? Everyone needs to know that the people who care for them support them. That's what completes a recovery, not abandonment."

Draco, now holding a hand to his stinging cheek, bit his lip and looked at the ground, trying to fight back more tears. Somewhere deep inside him he knew that his father was right, but he just went along with Harry's idea because Harry always seemed to survive when he did it his own way.

***

Harry was lying on his bed, looking up at the blank ceiling when a nurse he learned was named Susan came in. "Harry, you have visitors." She said then immediately left.

He quickly sat up and walked out of his room. Who knew he was here except for Draco? They made sure to never tell any of their friends. Trying to figure out who it was, Harry walked down the hall to the front room. He stopped suddenly when he saw that it was Draco, Narcissa, and Lucius. Narcissa and Lucius had broad smiles on their faces when they saw him. Draco looked like he just wanted to run away and die.

"Harry!" Narcissa exclaimed before she walked up to him and squeezed him tightly. Harry wondered how she was always so chipper.

Lucius walked up to him next and shook his hand. Draco stayed behind, keeping his eyes on the floor. His parents didn't seem to notice their son's actions. Instead they started questioning him nonstop.

"How are you?"

"I hope everyone's been treating you nicely."

"Are you starting to get better?"

"When you can come home, we're going to have a huge dinner!"

Harry tried his best to listen and answer them, but his mind was focused on the one Malfoy who wasn't doing anything. Lucius was the first to notice. He placed a hand on Narcissa's arm to quiet her. Once the two were silent, Harry stepped up to the blonde.

"Draco, why are you here?" He asked, but no anger was heard in his voice.

Draco didn't look up, but answered. "We came you see you."

"I can see that, but I thought we agreed on no visiting and writing letters."

Draco still didn't look up, but nodded.

Suddenly, Harry hugged his Slytherin. Draco just stood there, confused at Harry's reaction. He had thought the boy would be angry. He thought he wouldn't want to speak to him for breaking their rules. But, instead, the boy seemed to be happier than ever.

"I missed you, Draco." Harry whispered in the blonde's ear.

Draco smiled and got his arms out of Harry's tight embrace to give Harry his own squeeze. "I missed you too, Harry. You don't know how bad it's been."

Harry laughed and pushed Draco back by his shoulders to get a good look at the boy. His clothes were all wrinkled and had a few small stains. His eyes held dark bags, and his hair looked like it couldn't be fixed. "I think I have a good idea."

Draco laughed too as he looked down at himself. "I can't help it. Being without you makes me forget everything I should do."

* * *

**A/N: I hope you liked this chapter. I think it was one of my better ones. I have to give a special thanks to ams71080 for helping me on the subject of anorexia. Without her, this story probably wouldn't make sense. If you haven't noticed, I've changed the ending of chapter eighteen because of her information. As for the rest of you, thank you for reading!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter Twenty**

Draco and his parents stayed there for only an hour. Then, the nurse at the front desk had to ask them to leave because it was time for Harry's group therapy. Harry kissed Draco good-bye, but this time it was much less painful. They both decided that not seeing each other was ruining them far more than helping.

Harry took his time walking towards group therapy. He wished Dr. Femmingway wouldn't make him go, but he knew that would never happen. Group therapy was supposed to be a big part of his recovery. Harry hated how everyone glared at him when he talked.

Most of the people were already sitting in their usual chairs when Harry entered the room. Everyone ignored him as he sat down in his own usual chair closet to the door. Harry sat there silently while everyone else talked with each other. He tried to join a conversation once, but he knew he wasn't welcome the moment the other three people talking had glared at him.

"Hello, everyone!" Rachel walked in the door, chipper as ever. A few people told her hello, others carried on with their conversations. Harry stayed silent. He never spoke until it was his turn to share. "Today, we have a new face in the group. Say hello to Maria Travers."

Everyone said hello except for Harry. He stayed silent, and studied her as she stood there nervously next to Rachel. Her limp hair was long and blonde. She had dull brown eyes, and her thin, fragile body was probably only a few inches over five feet. If you put a bit of life in her, she'd probably catch every guy's eye.

Rachel gave Maria a chair and told her to choose to sit anywhere. Maria looked around the group shyly before she walked forward and looked straight at Harry. She gave him a small smile then asked. "May I sit next to you?" Her voice was soft and gentle.

Harry looked at her and smiled. She seemed like a potential friend. Quickly, he scooted his chair over so she could fit hers in. Rachel gave him a short look that said she wasn't happy. Harry ignored her.

Once Rachel sat down in her own chair, the talking began. Rachel called on a few people, and they talked about what they were thinking during their 'journey' as they liked to call it. Most people didn't share much. Some didn't share at all. Harry listened intently to them. He knew he didn't have to worry about when Rachel would call on him. He was always last. But, he was anxious for Maria to speak.

Finally after about six people, Rachel called on Maria. Maria looked a little shocked that she had the opportunity to speak, but Harry gave her a quick smile and she composed herself. She started off slowly. "I think I stopped eating two years ago. I didn't notice myself doing it because I just wasn't hungry. But my friends noticed a difference and made me realize it too. That's why I'm here."

"You came here willingly?" Another patient asked. She seemed amazed.

"Yes." It was all Maria said before she became silent again. Harry smiled to her again, telling her she did a good job. Maria smiled back.

The rest of the group had their turns to talk before Rachel finally called on Harry. He knew she wouldn't call on him at all if she didn't have to, but everyone had to be given the chance to speak before the group was let go. That was the rules.

"It's almost been two days since I've puked. Also, Draco and I have decided that it's better that we see each other instead of waiting till I'm able to leave." Harry said. He kept things nice and simple now. No one listened to him anyway.

A boy that Harry learned was named Henry, coughed and mumbled _fag_. No one glared at him. Two girls giggled to each other. No one stopped them either. If they could, everyone probably would make fun of him. Harry ignored them all. He was too used to it. Truthfully, he liked how they were a lot more open than his 'friends' at Hogwarts were.

When Rachel told them they could leave, Harry got out first. He went straight to his room like he always did. The next thing for the day was art and that wasn't for another hour. He wasn't really welcome anywhere that people went to freely.

"Can I come in?"

Harry sat up on his bed and looked at the doorway. Maria was standing there nervously. Harry smiled and waved her in. Then he went and pushed his desk chair against the door to keep it open. He didn't need to get in trouble with having a girl in there and the door closed. Maria sat on the bed, and Harry sat on top of the desk.

"Is that how group goes everyday?" She asked him.

Harry shrugged his shoulders and nodded. "I'm used to it. I've never had many friends in my life." He told her straight out.

"Why? Is it just because you're gay?" She asked. Harry was surprised that she was so open.

He shook his head. "Not usually. I never really found out that I was gay until a little while ago. At school it had been because I was different. It's sort of the same here. Everyone thinks that it's weird that I'm so open about getting better. Apparently I'm doing too good for their liking."

Maria frowned. "That isn't fair at all."

Harry shrugged again. "I just ignore them now. That's why I spend my time in here rather than out in the sitting area. It's a lot more peaceful."

Maria smiled. "Then I might just spend a lot more time in here."

Harry smiled back to her. He felt like she really understood him.

* * *

**A/N: I must admit, this chapter isn't very good. And I'm terribly sorry that it's taken me so long to update it, but my life has been very hectic. I'll try my best to update when I can. Please forgive me, and thank you for reading!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter Twenty-One**

Harry's recovery was going great. Draco came to visit him at least once a week. Maria talked with him every day, and ignored everyone who tried to get her to ignore him. Even better, Dr. Femmingway had mentioned going back home a few times. Harry had a smile on his face every moment of the day.

"What do you think you'll do first?" Maria asked Harry. They were in Harry's room, talking about Harry's first day out of the hospital.

Harry thought for a moment, but then grinned even more. "First, the Malfoy's are going to force me to come to their home. We'll have a huge feast, and afterwards, Draco and I will go home."

"And you two will actually do what you said you were going to do?" Maria inquired.

Harry blushed. "Probably."

Maria laughed. She knew the subject was a little embarrassing for Harry to talk about so openly with people other than Draco.

***

"Harry, come on!" Maria appeared in the doorway. "We have to get to the art room. I want to make a necklace, and you know how everyone always takes my favorite beads."

Harry laughed as he walked with Maria down the hall. "I swear, you act more like a seven-year-old girl than an eighteen-year-old one." Maria playfully smacked him on the arm.

"So, what are you going to make?" Maria asked after she had gotten all of her needed beads and string.

Harry looked at the few extra beads Maria had grabbed for him. Most of them were different colored beads with letters on them. He separated the six that he knew he wanted, then laughed at their coincidence. He had grabbed a D, L, M, H, J, and P. The D, L, and M were all green while the H, J, and P were red. He strung the green ones on a black leather string and did the same with the red ones on a separate string. He made them so they'd fit on his wrist nicely, knowing Draco had a similar sized wrist.

"You two really are attached, aren't you?" Maria asked. Her head was down, looking intently at the necklace she was making.

Harry smiled brightly to no one in particular. "Yeah. If you knew us since we were young you would have been just like everyone else and thought we were crazy."

This time Maria looked up. "You two were rivals?"

Harry laughed. "We were probably the worst rivals my school had seen."

"You do know that those who hate each other with a passion are only hiding their true passion for each other."

"Well I must have hid my feelings well because I didn't even know I had any until almost a year ago."

Maria focused back on her necklace, this time smiling. "That's just how love works."

***

"I'm going home?" Harry asked, not believing what he just heard.

"Yes." Dr. Femmingway replied for a third time. "You've been at a healthy weight for awhile now. You can call Draco right after I let you go and you can be out of here by tomorrow."

Harry smiled brightly. He never knew he could feel so happy. Tomorrow he was going home, back to the place that he missed the most. The moment his session ended, Harry rushed out of the room and to his own so he could write a letter to Draco.

_Draco,_

_I have great news! Dr. Femmingway told me that I can leave tomorrow! We can finally go back to a normal life. This time we'll have no setbacks. _

_Harry_

Harry couldn't think of anything else to say. He was too excited. Then he went to his only window, opened it and whistled. A few weeks before, Draco had brought Hedwig. Seeing each other only once a week wasn't enough. Harry was glad this was going to be the last letter Hedwig sent while he was at the hospital.

The moment the owl was out of sight, Harry closed the window. Almost immediately there was a knock at his door. Harry already knew who it was.

"How was Dr. Femmingway?" Maria asked as she opened the door and walked in without invitation. Harry was so used to it, he didn't care anymore.

"I'm going home tomorrow." Harry smiled to her.

Maria shrieked, grinned, and hugged Harry tightly. Harry never even knew that the girl had that much strength in her. "I'm going to miss you so much!"

"I wish I could come and visit you." Harry mumbled.

Maria looked at Harry sternly. "Do not feel bad, Harry. This is your time to celebrate. Go have your feast with Draco's parents. You deserve it after making it this far. I'll get better soon and then I'll come and find you. We'll hang out together then."

"I'm going to miss you, Maria." Harry told her.

"Don't say that. Tell me that you'll be excited to see me when I get out."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because it's better than saying that you'll miss me."

Harry chuckled. "Fine. I'll see you when you get out, and we'll celebrate."

Maria smiled. "You said it better than I did."

"I meant it too."

* * *

**A/N: To make it up to everyone who is still reading this, I've decided to upload another chapter. I already had it written except for a little bit of the end so please don't think this is just some piece I threw together last minute. But thank you to everyone who's reading this!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Losing Pain**

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

Harry closed his suitcase after putting in his remaining clothes. The room already looked like no one had ever been there. Maria had come to help, but there were so few things that Harry already packed everything before she even took two steps into the room.

"Do you think I'm ready to leave?" Harry asked.

Maria looked at him strangely. "Why would you think you aren't ready to leave?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I just don't really know how I'm supposed to feel after going through all of this. I haven't been completely sober of any problem since I was thirteen, Maria."

Maria gave him a quick hug. "Everything's going to be fine. You deserve this. You've worked so hard, and finally all of that work has paid off. I'm really proud of you, Harry, and so are Draco and his parents."

"Thanks, Maria."

Maria smiled. "What are friends for?"

***

Harry didn't know what to expect as he waited for Draco in the front room. Maria offered to wait with him, but he knew he would be alright by himself.

Apparently everybody heard about Harry's departure though. It seemed as if everybody had something to do in the front room. Harry knew it was just to see him leave, but he didn't care anymore. He was glad to finally be rid of them all except for Maria. It almost hurt him to leave her alone. But he knew he'd make it up to her when they met again.

"Harry!" Harry looked up at the doors and grinned. There was Draco smiling as he walked over to the chair Harry was sitting in.

Harry immediately stood up and hugged him tightly. He heard a few people whisper, but ignored them. Draco, however, tensed up and his hand went down to pocket where Harry guessed he had his wand.

"Don't, Draco. We don't need anymore problems right now. Just ignore them. We won't see them anymore anyways." Harry whispered in his ear.

Draco relaxed a bit, grabbed Harry's suitcase, and, holding Harry's hand, walked back out through the doors. Once they were outside, Draco apparated them back to their home. Harry never realized how much he really missed the place until they stepped inside and the familiar smells hit him. Tears formed in his eyes, he was so happy.

"Draco, you can't imagine how much I've missed you." Harry whispered and turned toward his Slytherin. Draco looked at him and quickly brought him into a hug.

"I have a pretty good idea." Draco mumbled into Harry's hair.

Suddenly, Draco picked up Harry and carried him into their room. Harry knew what was about to happen, and he never could have been happier.

***

It was everything he could have imagined and more. Draco was perfect to him, and knew exactly what he was doing. Harry hadn't cared that he was the submissive one. To him there was no dominant and submissive. There was only Draco and him. They were two people who wanted to be together for the rest of their lives.

"Mother and Father invited us over for dinner tomorrow." Draco said while holding Harry in his arms, his fingers combing through Harry's hair.

"Why not tonight?" Harry asked.

"Did you think I'd share you on your first night out?" Draco looked into Harry's eyes before kissing him deeply.

Harry automatically melted into his mouth, letting the blonde take over with his tongue. He had missed this kind of pleasure for too long. If they didn't have to go visit Draco's parents, he knew they would have stayed in their bed for more than a day.

***

"Harry! We're so glad you're back. We've missed you too much!" Narcissa exclaimed the moment she opened the front door.

Harry smiled as she brought him into a tight hug. "I've missed you too, Narcissa."

Narcissa practically pulled the two in. She led them to the sitting room and offered them both tea before she left the room to get the small snacks she had prepared. A few moments later, Lucius walked in. His face was calm and his walk was steady, but, the moment he was in front of the sitting Harry, Lucius pulled him up and hugged him tightly.

"It's good to see you out of that retched muggle hospital, Harry." Lucius said then sat down in his own chair.

"I'm happy to be back." Harry replied and took a sip of his tea.

Narcissa soon came back with the food, and the four of them caught up on things. Harry found out he missed out on a lot in only a small amount of time. Dumbledore had a small stroke and was rumored to retire from being headmaster. Ron's father was found to be tinkering with more muggle objects, leaving the whole family poorer than before. Harry ended up laughing. Pay back was a bitch.

* * *

**A/N: I know it's been a long time again since I've updated, and this chapter isn't that long either, but I've been terribly busy. Plus, I lost my memory stick for two days so that was no fun either. But now, here it is. I hope it was at least okay. Thanks for reading!**


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